Remember me.

filming

Sams pov
Aya today we are filimg our first video, im kinda nervous to be honest. Ebony and i are pretty good friends now, i hope to be more someday. I mean we kissed a couple times last night and i literally felt fireworks in my stomach. "Sam you ready?" Ricky asked, hes kinda the leader because he has experience with this stuff. "Yeah" i say getting up and walking over to where they set up the camera. I walk past ebony and she waves to me, i wink at her and she blushes and giggles turning to face zoe and they start fangirling. Its cute i thought, guys arent oblivious to this stuff. "So what do we do?" Kian asked. "Well i can start off by saying hi and stuff and explaining the collab channel then introduce all yous and you can just speak for a bit about yourself." He explains. "Oh and the girls cant be in it" he adds quickly before pressing record on the camera, "hey guys its ricky here. I am here for a very important reason," he starts. My nerves start to creep in a bit more, "that reason is.... guys come on" he says and we all jump into the frame. "This is our collab channel, called our2ndlife or o2l for short." I am standing there awkwardly, i look over to ebony and she puts two thumbs up so i show a small smile towards her, "and this is sam" ricky says snapping me out of my thoughts, "hey guys" i say. For the rest of the video we just talked about ourselves for a bit and goofing around, and we ending the video with rickys signiture ending, "oh" "kay "guys" "see" "ya" "lay" "ter", by the end we were all laughing. Everyone else joined in for the outro at the end. "Well that was fun" i say after we've all calmed down. "Yep, i have a good feeling about this" connor says walking over to tyler.

Troyes pov
That was so fun, doing the outro with o2l. I wanna be the first person to subscribe to their channel, i also need to talk to connor. What did that kiss mean, i know it sounds stupid but his kiss is still lingering on my lips, he quickly glances over to me and i look back and smile, he smiles back. I kjow this is completely wrong, tyler is going to hate me. Everyone is going to hate me, but oh well yolo. "Troye... you with us?" I hear zoe say in her british accent, "oh what yeah um?" I guess i was daydreaming. "I said, are you staying here? Most of us are going for a walk but connors really tired. Figures, so hes taking a nap, tylers pretty tired too but hes denying it" she ebony laughed at the last statement, connors staying here. Connor.angel.freaking.beautiful.franta is taking a nap no one else will be here, imma stay here too. "I think i'll stay here," zoe looked confused and ebony looked at me like im hiding something, "what cant a guy enjoy some time by himself, anyway physical activity is not my thing... do you see any abs?" I joke lifting up my shirt, i notice the girls blush. "Im gay, remember that" i tell them and they look gobsmacked. I walked off into my tent. I pretended to sleep for a bit to avoid those awkward goodbyes even though they arent really going anywhere, honestly i am kinda scared, scared of loving, scared of living. Whats the outcome of this, i know my past doesnt define me but it haunts me in my dreams and thoughts, i cant control it. I am so fucking scared, i dont look it on the outside but on the inside i try so hard to find my shred of happiness, my only happiness at the moment is one word. Connor. My happy little pill, my destination, my escape. Thats why i love him but im scared of rejection, like im not good enough for him. Clearly tylers better, thats why hes dating him. Not me. These thoughts keep running through my head, i need to do something, i need my happiness. I need HIM, i enthusiasticly run out of my tent, i literally sprint over to connors tent and unzip it to find him sleeping. "Wake up" i yell, he stirs for a bit. I have so much energy but then i have some anger and scared in the back of my mind. Its slowly creeping its way forward to rain on my parade. "Oh hey troye" he says with a sly smirk. "What the hell did it mean" i shout once again emphasizing 'it' he looks at me confuzled (sorry i had to i love that word) "it?" He questioned. "Dude why did you kiss me?" I say lowering myself to his camper bed returning tonthe exact position as the other night. "Um, i guess im trying to figure my feelings out. I do like you, but tylers the man of my dreams but you freaking hot i mean look at you" he says pointing at my body. "Whats to like?" I ask, i am so self conscious mainly because i dont like ny apearence, my eyes are blue and i dont like it. My hair is literally poo coloured, nothing about me is good. "You have the cuteset smile, the most defined cheekbones since zac effron. Your eyes are so blue anyone could get lost in them, your tall, skinny, ahhhh just everything babe. I could go on forever but just oh my god" after he says that i blush abd my jaw drops, a few moments of silence pass and he suddenly cups my cheek in his hands and rests his forehead against mine, this moment is so perfect, "just us" he says before closing the gap between up lips. We move in perfect sync. My past is no longer clouding my mind my battle scars are no longer there, i enjoy the moment for as long as possible. It feels so magical so full of love. I pull away dazed and smile giddily at him, "just us" i repeat his own words to him and we just sit there in each others arms enjoying the company we give each other, i honestly have no words so we sit in silence until we hear tylers montrous laugh in the distance, i sramble out of connors arms and throw myself on the other camp bed in the tent "fuck act like we were talking about useless shit" i say quickly feeling flustered,  "woah man calm down, lets talk about taco bell... follow my lead" he tells me listening for the others. When we hear them connor starts talking. "So when we get back i definitely want taco bell. Straight away," he says with a wink in my direction, "yeah we should get it on the way home, i miss being antisocial" i laugh. The tent gets upzipped and tyler steps in taking a seat next to connor looking like an overprotective parent. Connor looks at me and i try not to laugh, "what y'all talling bout" he says with a strong accent. "How we miss not socializing and junk food" i say, "right. Im so tired after that hike, i wanna sleep." He whined towards connor, i hide a giggle, "later losers" i yell and get out of there. Just an overveiw of today: BEST.DAY.EVER! now i need to tell him what ive been hiding, he deserves to know. I have never told anyone, about me. My true self. My scars. My fight.

A/n
Hey guys this is my favourite chapter by far! I have had so many feels from this. I honestly cannot explain my feelings right now!!! And 15 reads away from 1k WHAAAAT ilysm thankyou so much i love every single one of you!! Seriously. BYEEEEEEEEEE ILYSM