Goodbye, good life | Bughead

09: Soft spot

After Jughead left from Kevin's and Fangs', he was a mess. For few months he hadn't thought about her sister. It was painful topic and there wasn't a thing he could do, he didn't want to think about her. And this had been going on for years.

About five and a half year ago Jb changed. Yeah, she wasn't all okay when they left from Riverdale with Fp but she was actually better for next year and a half. It was slow change.

At first no one saw that. Her grades went down but in the end she still graduated. But she didn't apply to any university, any school. She left Toledo and took a road trip with her friends. And at first it sounded a good way to figure out what she'd want for the future. But it wasn't her purpose, it wasn't that kind of road trip.

At that time Jughead was in university and his parents didn't want to stress him. It took a year when he asked his parents if they had heard something from Jb, because she didn't answer his calls. Then he heard the story.

Gladys and Fp never got back together even Fp went to Toledo. And after Jb left, it wasn't easy for those two to behave. But they tried. Because of Jb. If she'd come back home. Fp and Gladys took seperate road trips on their bikes and tried to find their girl. Sometimes Fp took Jughead with him, but both Fp and Gladys insisted that Jughead did his studies, he had to focus on those. And he did. He did everything for her little sis. If they'll find her one day, she could be proud.

Fp still lived in Toledo. He couldn't leave because he believed that Jb could someday come behind his door. But Jughead guessed there was a place he wanted to be. Wanted to live. In Riverdale. And it sucked that he couldn't live his life like he wanted.

Couple years ago Jughead left to his own roadtrip. Fp didn't like the idea, he feared that he will lost his son too. So they had a fight and now they exchange only few texts in a year. It had been a while since the last one. When he moved to New York, Jughead texted.

And Jughead's roadtrip. It was he doing his job but there was this bigger meaning above all the work and fun. He could have seen her. And finally, couple months before he moved to New York he saw her. She didn't see him. But he saw her. Jb didn't look good and he didn't want to see her that way. He had to settle, because she was on the road and he couldn't be there too.

There was a thing which made everything much worse for Jughead. The timeline. And how it all came together with his and Betty's timeline. And when he left Betty that voicemail and they lost their friendship, it might have affect somehow to Jb too. They were close, they were like sisters. Or something like that.

But Jughead never went there, he never wanted to take a closer look on that shared timeline. It was too much. To think that it all happened because of him.

Even though Jughead left her sister there, in Atlanta, he didn't leave her. All these years before and after he saw her, he had been texting to her and calling to her. She never answered but he knew she red those texts. So he kept sending those once in a while. It helped him a little, to process. And it felt like he had her in his life.

Jughead sat down on his couch. It was time to text her again.

Jughead: Hey little sis. Leaves are changing colours in New York and I can breathe again. Air is so fresh and I enjoy the breeze on my face. I met someone who loves those things too. And you loved her. The situation isn't the easiest but it also in some weird level helps me to breathe. I miss u. How many falls I have lived without hearing from you? I don't wanna count, I don't wanna know that number. It is too big. I hope you have there something which brings you a joy. Maybe it's a morning sun or stars at night. Something that makes you smile. Be safe, please.

After the text, Jughead drank one beer and fell asleep on his couch. This was exhausting thing to him to think and process.

When sun was rising Jughead moved to his bed and slept too many hours after that. He woke up at afternoon and saw that Fangs had called. Then texted. He was sorry and asked if Jughead was okay. Kind of yeah. And there was nothing to talk about. Nothing new. Jughead asked if they told Betty and for his luck they didn't.

It was a hard day. For the first time ever Jughead processed it all. He took a pen and drew a timeline. His and Jb's and Betty's. It all came more clear now. Betty really was part of all this shit. They were all in this together. It was hard to look. The drawning. He trashed it and eventually he burned it.

Jb was fine all that time when Jughead and Betty were still friends and kept in touch. And after that voicemail, he thought, Jb started to change. Maybe they kept in touch too and after he lost Betty, Jb lost her too? It matches too well. Was it all his fault or hers?

And now it's all more messy because Betty was in his life again. And now she knew something was wrong with Jb. How to get away from this? What is he gonna tell Betty? Or does he have to say anything? It isn't non of her business.

But somehow it is more complicated with Betty again. Suddenly he forgot everything he felt in these few weeks. Joy with working with her, her smile and laughter which he had enjoyed.

She was the reason this all happened. She kissed Archie. Okay, he left the voicemail. But after that his father was a mess too and Fp's life is far away from what he wanted.

Jb was hanging out with the wrong people, was using and maybe even living on the streets.

And Jughead. You could have thought he had a good life, but was it that? Good job, girls after girls, little apartment in New York City. But no. This wasn't his plan. He wanted one girl. And that girl. She ruined everything. From him but also from his sister and his father.

Jughead: Did you know how many lifes you ruined when you did what you did? Three at least, but maybe more.

Betty: What? I have no idea what are you talking about. But think about your number. Is it bigger than mine?

In Betty's cozy apartment she was crying and holding her cat in her arms. It was Sunday night, just before bedtime. And this was how they were starting their new week of work. This was what happened because of that dinner. That should have never happened.

Why they did that? It all was almost okay before that. They had fun at work and with their colleagues they were good. But right after they went deeper in their private lifes, all was a mess. Their lifes, they had affected for so many other peoples lifes. And it made her sad. And more quilty. But it couldn't be all on her. Jughead sent that voicemail and without it, maybe they could be friends still. Her life would be different, she knew it.

But what happened to Jb? And was her life ruined too?
Who was the third? And how the hell they'll work tomorrow after this?

Fuck this shit.

There were back to square one.

One thought in her mind, she fell asleep. She was happy that Jughead didn't hear her calling him Jug. She wasn't there anymore.