Goodbye, good life | Bughead

20: Moving on

Betty: Everyone was happy to hear from you, you were so missed. It was a good trip and we had a real progress, all of us who were there. Where are you my little star, we could come and get you? My cat Tempo would most certainly love you, just like he fell in love with your brother. And now he's the only one he sees. Be safe love.

It was now part of her morning routine. The text to Jb. On Monday at first, then she will do that few times again during the week. It was weird how quickly this was coming like a little diary, word of the day, or sentences of the day. Like a little safe place to say something sweet but something really thoughful.

She wanted to think the messages were deep and even though she didn't think of those too much, they could mean something bigger and come from somewhere deep inside her. Who knows?

They had crazy week on work, they try to work now very hard so they could all take a week from work at Christmas. So it meant long days and something for the weekend too. Betty cancelled the night out which she promised to Veronica. It didn't obviously go like that, they rescheduled that for the next Friday.

Betty: Last month of the year, why is it always so hard? Work and all the Christmas stuff and promises for the New Year. I'd like to send you a Christmas card. I wish I'd knew where you are. Maybe a dove would knew?

One crazy week and then the Friday was finally there. Betty couldn't forget that because Veronica had been texting about it for entire week. It had been while since the last Friday night out and Cheryl was coming with them tonight.

Nobody would admit, but it felt a bit like that things were changing. Even though Betty promised she wasn't going back to her high school self, and she didn't, but like there was something dragging them to an adulthood.

This fall was different in so many levels and there had been fewer times for these nights. No one said that out loud, but Jughead back in their and especially Betty's lifes, it mattered. Even though they were friends, just friends.

Betty: Time to head out now, Veronica doesn't take no for an answer when it comes to drinks and dancing. And to be honest, it's kind of nice sometimes lose it a bit. Might remember I wasn't the party girl. Turns out, I can be. It's good right? Miss u little star, are you already enjoying snow or is there bright and shiny?

Cheryl and Veronica came at Betty's soon after her work. They started with few coral colour drinks. When the drink is pastel, it's getting you perfectly drank. It was one from Veronica's idealogy. And that's why they had those colours on their drinks usually before heading out. Today it was orangejuice, passion liqour and some soda.

"Is it me or are the things changing?" Cheryl asked after couple drinks. She was little worried but on the other hand, she had seen this pretty women from other museum and it's starting to feel more serious, and she actually liked it like that.

"Does it have to be a bad change?" Betty pouted and really was weighing the options. It didn't feel like it, all was right now very good and things went on so naturally swaying.

"We might have to admit we are over mid twenties on our way to thirties. And we might need to slow it down with the partying. I noticed my hangovers are getting worse. Am I old? Oh dear lord I'm getting old!" Veronica paniced and poured them another drinks to help the feeling.

"So. For the next year. Once per two months? And we should figure out how adults act when they go out? Should we date and forget our guys? Or girls?" Veronica continued her thoughs and no one said a word.

They decided not to talk about the subject now and they'll think about it next year. Now they'll enjoy and do things like they just to do. Cheryl hadn't told about her girl anything yet and she was willing to keep it that way, not the time yet. But her girl, she wasn't any baggage on this night, Cheryl drank, she partied, and hell yeah, she danced. This could be the last one like this.

For a start of the evening Betty felt herself little off but after alcohol took her body on control, she was ready for everything. And she really did it like she used to. This guy Tomas, he was very handsome and so nice and his destination for the night was the apartment of Betty. At the morning Betty even thought for the second, if she should tell her last name, if they should meet again.

What was happening? Things were really changing.

Betty: Oh my god, things are changing. I don't know who to tell and it's weirdly good to have you there, without judgement. Years without you, I was living alone not wanting commitment. He caused that, you might have figured that out, you are so smart girl. Have I aged? Something is happening and it feels more weird after last night. What should I do? Where are you? I know you'd enjoy this kind of talks. Come here and help me!

Could it be the quilt which left out from her after Jughead forgave? She was never gonna forget her mistake, but the biggest weight was now gone, it was lighter. Now she was just wondering was it him in her life, as her friend.. was that a fact which affected like this on her feelings about the Friday nights. Or, was she really ready to date, start looking the right guy?

Even a thought, it made her sick. Finding someone. She tried that for that first year of college. When Jughead was her friend and she was still the Betty she used to be in Riverdale.

She dated few guys, both of them lasted like a month or so. First was Jake, who was in her History of Literature class, sitting there next to her all December. They had good talks and after the class was over he asked her out. They spend quite a lot time together and had fun, it felt good. But Betty wasn't just ready to get intimate with him. Not after Jughead. She didn't know Jake that well and she was insecure of showing her body, having sex with someone who didn't know her like Jughead knew. Same thing happened on May to June with Aron from her latina class which she took just for fun.

With Jughead, in high school, take took their time. They were at the same level, they knew such as much as the other one, at least the difference wasn't big and she knew it. It was comforting thing for a overachiever. So turned out, she was really insecure with having sex even after those years of practice. And even though they explored many stuff with Jughead, they enjoeyd many things in many ways. Somehow she just couldn't do anything without his support and trust.

Betty's dating experiments ended, guys turned out to be jerks who wanted sex and didn't want to wait and give her time. Her only pleasure for that year was she herself. But she didn't complain, not at all.

After the voicemail and with Cheryl's help it all changed. Betty was done dating and with some alcohol running in her veins and with the plan to not ever see the guy after, she led go and had her fun. And she had had.

But now?

She didn't have any information about Tomas, so she wasn't gonna start anything with him. But maybe, just maybe she had grown and gotten little more self-confidence and she could really start dating and it could led for something?

One thing felt like it held her back. Jughead. They were friends yeah, but she wasn't sure how they'd be friends if they'll have relationships. She knew that it was gonna turn weird. Being friends with ex. Who happened to be the only one in this world who she had have sex knowing his last name and seeing him afterwards.

Oh god, she was so stupid. How this turned to be this hard? It should be easy. You date, you fell in love, you trust, you have sex.

And she knew it then.

They should talk about the voicemail. It was something which still had control of her life. Talking about sex with him, it was going to be awkward and she had the feeling he had no idea how big mess he caused by that voicemail.

She was also little scared about losing him if they opened the one last box of their past problems. She was now so used to have him around, occasionally sleeping on her couch, praising her baking, joking and teasing at work, not mentioning the little touches she had received. She felt safe, she felt like a part of her is back, she was more of herself, she felt more home than in years.

Can they really talk about this?