For Keeps

15. The valley.

{Cary}

On Thursday, as Cary parked the truck in the blue light of evening, the lights along the roof of their house and wrapped around the porch railings blinked on to welcome them home. Kurt jogged upstairs, and Cary stumped to the Advent calendar posted above the kitchen table. He popped open the little door marked '10' and touched the next squares with his blunt finger, counting the days until the fifteenth. Sighing, he unwrapped the chocolate tucked behind the little paper door and put it in his mouth, sucking on it as he plugged in the lights on the tree.

Out of habit, he pulled the lock box off the top of the fridge, opened it with the key on his ring, and counted the baggies and pills to check that the total matched the number in his phone.

The box was back on top of the fridge by the time Kurt paced back into the kitchen, opening one cupboard after another.

Cary asked, "Jon here for supper?" The van was parked in the back and he assumed that meant Jon was hibernating somewhere in the house.

Kurt glanced at him, his mouth unusually flat and nodded. "He just woke up."

"There's a roast and veg in the slow cooker," Cary said.

Kurt closed the cupboards, smiling again. "Have I mentioned what a gem you are, Cary?"

"Not today," Cary said. He fiddled with a string of lights, brushing the evergreen branch to release the sharp, fresh smell of pine. "How is Jon? I haven't seen him all week."

Kurt hugged his arms around himself, lifting his shoulders. "I think he's pulling through?" His blue eyes were worried, meeting Cary's look.

"He's eating?" Cary asked. "Staying hydrated?" His eyes touched the locked box on the top of the fridge. Staying sober? He was pretty sure Kurt would know what he was looking at if Jon slipped this week. And he was probably worrying for nothing. Jon's absence from his life right now didn't have to mean anything other than he was busy with work and school and his partner.

"Yup," Kurt said. "There's that wrap and smoothie place he likes. He pretty much eats the same thing from there every day." He paused. "He missed once and kinda blacked out so I--have an alarm now. To text him to eat."

Cary shot him a smile. "Uh-huh. I been there. Last year I kept his glove compartment stocked with protein bars for emergencies." There was a pause. "You taking care of you, Visser? Sleeping, eating? You shouldn't get lost in Jon's thing."

Kurt's eyes crinkled with some humor. "You know I'm eating--you feed me every day." He lifted his shoulders, looking aside. "I guess I can go without words for a bit. There's an end date; he's not doing school and work again next year."

It looked for a second like Kurt would say something more, but the stairs creaked and he bent his head instead, thumbing through his phone to pull up a playlist.

"Hey Jon," Cary said. Jon gave him a silent wave and the smile that he put on when he didn't have another expression for his face. His clothing looked rumpled and slept in. "There's a roast for supper," Cary said. "We just need to throw together a salad."

Jon went to the fridge, then stood there staring at the contents like he was lost. "I'll just have a smoothie," he said, his voice rough with sleep.

Kurt rolled his eyes and shooed him away from the fridge. "Nuh-uh. That green sludge instead of juicy roast beef and potatoes? I can't let you do that. Look, I got those snap peas you like, and the avocados are ready. That greenhouse across town is still growing cucumbers. All the fresh and green; you'll love it." He passed Jon a bag of snap peas. "Wash these, love, and take off the strings. I'll do the rest."