For Keeps

33. Husband and husband.

{Jon}

In the car on the way home from Jasper, Jon scrolled through the photos of him and Kurt on the mountainside, humming to the carols on the radio and swinging his leg. He tapped three of the best images, opened a text to his mom, and then paused, checking the time. He felt a dent in his happiness for the first time that morning. "Shit," he said softly.

Kurt made a questioning noise, glancing at him.

Jon pulled up on the tension in his neck. "I was going to send these to Mom, but she's at work. In the office at Tabitha May's Christian high school. I was thinking how happy this was gonna make her but...she won't be able to tell anyone."

"You don't think...she'll still be happy?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, she'll still be happy," Jon whispered. His shoulders curled small and he put his hands over his face. "I didn't think this through. My parents have to keep us a secret too. All their friends' kids are getting married to opposite gender people and I'm--not. They can't show off these pictures—they just have to smile and nod."

"I'm pretty sure they still have Tabitha May for that," Kurt said.

Jon laughed unsteadily.

"It's not your fault it's hard, Jon," Kurt said more quietly. "You didn't make the rules that say we can't be a thing. Your mom's a grown up person, even more than you. I think you should just send her the photos and let her be happy. She can hide in the washroom and do a happy dance, or whatever."

Easing the ache in his shoulder, Jon rested his eyes on the picture of Kurt, windblown, eyes sparkling, his ringed hand covering his mouth in an exaggerated expression of surprise. His mom was going to laugh at that one for sure. Taking a breath, he added this text to the photos:

<love you mom. Hope you can find a quiet spot to do a happy dance. This happened. I said yes. He said yes. *engagement ring emoji* *double heart emoji*>

It wasn't five minutes before his phone rang and buzzed against his stomach. "Jonnnnnn!" His mom whisper-screamed, and Jon laughed. "Put Kurt on the phone!" Jon laughed harder.

"You don't even want to talk to me?"

"I want to talk to you both!"

Jon put her on speaker and Mel's bubbly voice filled the front seat. "Congratulations, I'm so happy for you!"

"Hi Mom," Kurt sang. "I asked Jonathan Nathanial White to spend his life with me and he said yes! Can I be in your family now?"

"Of course you can." It sounded like she was laughing and crying at the same time and Jon worried about whether she'd found someplace private to have this conversation.

"You know you can't tell anyone, right?" Jon asked. "We're..." He glanced at Kurt, who quirked his eyebrows at him, waiting for the word he was going to choose. "...like permanently engaged. No wedding." He sighed, rubbing his face.

"Jon, honey." Mel's voice was warm and calm. "We will just say the things we always say about you to our friends: that you have launched beautifully into your grown up life and we're so proud of you." Her voice brightened. "Oh my goodness but we need to celebrate your engagement at family dinner on Saturday! Kurt, would it be alright if we popped some champagne?"

"I think my feelings would be hurt if you didn't," Kurt laughed.

The car was very quiet when the phone call ended.

"How do you feel about that?" Kurt asked.

Jon was silent. Something big was shifting inside him; he felt the slow massive impact as it connected. Every single person he cared about carried the stress of keeping him secret while he worked this job. He could hardly bear to think about keeping Kurt in the closet with him for another year, let alone a decade or a lifetime.