For Keeps

49. Ghost of Christmas present.

{Jon}

When they got back to Kurt's car from St. Aidan's Queer Choir practice, it was clear that an afternoon with an audience had poured Kurt full of energy--he was bubbling over with plans.

"It's just three," Kurt said. "There's time for a couple hours of Christmas shopping. I'm thinking we hit the mall--it's a one-stop-shop for every family member on our list."

Jon rubbed his aching forehead; his face felt like it was packed full of drywall dust and his throat ached from singing. "The mall?" he asked plaintively. "Are you serious? What happened to naps? I'm so--peopled out right now. Can't we shop tomorrow?"

Kurt's eyes were big and pleading. "I'm working tomorrow, White. We're going balls-to-the-wall 'til the twenty-fourth to get our jobs done and get paid. When you said no more hiding I got so excited about shopping with you today."

His partner's longing was palpable and Jon pulled up on the back of his neck, breathing in to dig deep and do this for Kurt. "Okay love. But coffee first."

Kurt beamed, touching the mirror ball hanging from the mirror to make it swing and scatter sun beads over the two of them. "Now we really can go to that roastery you love!"

Jon smiled, touching Kurt's leg beside him. "Now we really can," he agreed.

It was such a small deal, just a couple minutes standing together in an urban-chic coffee shop in broad daylight, while the espresso machine hissed and growled over the froth for Kurt's caramel macchiato. One or two people glanced their way as Kurt gestured, telling a story, and Jon felt zero anxiety. In fact, he felt the opposite. Knowing people were looking and seeing him with Kurt made him feel warm with pride.

Of course, he'd over-thought it a little getting out of the car, calculating the distance between this street corner and his former workplace. The work commute to the North side of Edmonton had been a source of annoyance for years--now Jon was grateful his work house was a nearly fifty minute drive from anyplace he wanted to be about town, shopping or dining with Kurt.

At a little table, Kurt pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket while Jon slupped back a third of his Americano with cream.

"Okay so I've made a list," Kurt said.

"A list of what?" Jon asked blankly.

"Gift ideas of course," Kurt said, his eyes laughing at him. "There's a couple options for everyone except your dad--I know exactly what we're getting Pete for Christmas."

Jon scanned Kurt's sloping, hasty writing. "Any of this would be exponentially better than the gift cards I usually get."

"You don't have a preference?" Kurt asked, worried. "They're your family."

With half his Americano inside him, Jon felt up to this. He couldn't keep a smile off his face. "They're your family now too."

"Well you know them best," Kurt said.

"Uh--these are pretty amazing, Kurt. You are clearly way more creative than I am."

Kurt grinned, wiggling a little with glee. "I've been thinking about this shopping trip all week. I haven't had a family Christmas in three years and I'm the fucking Ghost of Christmas Presents with a corn-o-copia overflowin' with ideas."

Jon laughed at the mental image of Kurt appearing in Ebenezer Scrooge's bare apartment, bounteous with presents, but underneath his heart hurt thinking of his affectionate partner alone or drinking with Nicky for the past three Decembers.

Jon snapped the lid on the remainder of his drink. "Well let's not waste time sitting around. These are 'to-go' cups--let's go!"

{Kurt}