lost the way | lil peep

merciful

The cigarettes in their hands were long forgotten, as they focused on pleasuring each other with endless kisses. Some were just quick pecks, some were heated and passionate. There was nothing else to think about, the only thing that mattered was holding each other as close as possible.

Until it wasn't.

"Looks like the problem solved itself." The two jumped away from each other like a pair of high school kids caught under the bleachers. Emma, who interrupted them in the first place, laughed at their reaction and so did Wiggy who stood next to the blonde silently until now.

Meg's face was almost as red as her hair, whilst Gus looked away from his friends awkwardly. He never was comfortable with any kind of PDA in front of people close to him.

"Seems like you two are having fun," Nate smirked knowingly, he knew he was right about the mutuality of their feelings.

"Shut it, Wiggs," Margaret's voice was quiet, as if she knew it would tremble had she spoken any louder.

"What are you doing here, anyway?"

"My parents kicked me out," the redhead mumbled ashamedly. She lowered her head with embarrassment.

"What the fuck do you mean those fuckers kicked you out!?" Wiggy unknowingly raised his voice, which send some chills down Meg's spine.

"I'll explain later, Wiggs," Gus interjected, noticing how tense the girl in his arms became. "She's had enough for today."

"Sure thing, man." Nate nodded with appreciation. He liked seeing Gus caring about his best friend.

"You look pale, Meggie," Emma spoke up, "maybe you should lay down?"

"I need a shower." Margaret said, still quietly. "I didn't even think to grab a towel, when I was packing."

"Don't worry about that, Ma," Wiggs noticed how the girl's behavior changed. "Seeing how miserable you are," he joked, "I am willing to give you that cool towel you always want to steal from me."

"Oh, so merciful!" She clasped her hands together as the corners of her lips turned upwards. "You'll never get it back, Wiggs."

"I know, that's why it's a huge sacrifice on my part." Nate's antics cheered Meg up a little bit, definitely distracted her enough to make it through her shower without breaking down again.

"Are you hungry?" Nate asked as soon as his friend appeared downstairs.

"No."

"Have you eaten?"

Silence.

"Get yo ass to the kitchen right this second!" Meg huffed and rolled her eyes at Wiggy's demanding tone but still followed him to the kitchen where Gus and Emma were.

"Don't yell at the poor girl, Nate," Emma scolded the boy, "she's been through enough. Come sit, Meggie, I made you some tea."

A quiet 'thanks' was mumbled as the redhead took a seat next to Peep.

"You okay?" Gustav asked quietly, leaning closer so he could whisper into Margaret's ear.

She nodded hesitantly, "I'm just not that hungry."

"Would you rather just go straight to sleep instead?" She shrugged, she had no idea what she wanted.

"Let's go for a smoke, okay?" The girl suggested, looking around the three worried faces that surrounded her. She wanted them to calm down, to stop looking at her as if she was going to break down in tears any second. "You can stop walking on eggshells around me, I've dealt with worse. We can all just forget about it."

"Alright, you're right, Ma. We know you'll be okay." Nate nodded, with a smile. "Let's go for that smoke."

The exhaustion from all the emotions caused Margaret to sleep somehow peacefully throughout the whole night, Gus' arms wrapped around her were bringing her the much needed comfort. The morning however was way  more horrible that anyone could ever imagine. When the redhead finally realized the seriousness of the situation and understood it completely, there was no way to console her or to calm her down. All the tears, the way she couldn't catch her breath, the way her whole body was uncontrollably shaking - it was heartbreaking for the guys to see their friend like that.

Around noon she passed out from all the hysterics and stayed asleep for almost three hours. With the fear that she'll wake up and freak out again, Gus stayed by her side all that time. He forced himself to stay awake in case she needed something - comfort, a glass of water, anything at all.

A subtle knock pulled Gus out of his thoughts. He turned his head to see who was it, only to see Nate's worried face.

"How is she?" It was quite evident that he was worried sick about his best friend. Even tho Margaret hasn't been in their lives for a long time, she became a very important part of their friend group.

"Definitely been better. I think she calmed down now. I hope-"

"I'm good now." A raspy voice interrupted Gus, startling both of the guys. Meg sat up slowly, still feeling kind of lightheaded from all the crying that had happened before. "Sorry for all the hysterics."

"Don't even apologize, dumbass," Wiggy sighed and shook his head. "It's none of your fault, Ma."

"Yeah, don't blame yourself, boo. The most important thing is that you have a place to stay."

"Do you need us to raid your house and get some more of your stuff? We could figure it all out with Cameron."

"Yeah, that would be nice. You have his number, yeah?"

"Yeah, don't worry about anything, okay? Just get some rest, Ma. We're going out tonight."

"What? No, no, I'm-" Resistance was expected, but not welcome.

"Shut it." Nate interrupted Meg's fighting. "If I let you stay home, you'll just get depressed and start snorting way too much coke. I'm not letting that happen. I want y'all to be ready at 8."

"Okay, Wiggs, I'll make sure of that." Gus tried to withhold his laughter at Nate's poor attempt of being assertive, so he didn't say anything else. He redirected his attention at the redhead, currently grimacing at her friend.

"Make sure she eats some food," Wiggy added as he made his way out of the door.

"He has a point. You don't eat enough. When was the last time you ate?"

"I'm just not hungry," the girl shrugged avoiding the question.

"Boo."

"I don't remember."

"We're getting food. Take-out or do you wanna make something?"

"We can make something. Do you have any chicken in the freezer?" Meg's cooperation made Peep really happy. "Some veggies?"

"Yeah, I think we'll find everything we might need. Come on, boo," He got up as he was speaking, but the girl remained settled and just looked up at Gustav. "What's up?'

"Can I get a kiss? Or was that just yesterday..?" Her voice was shy, unsure, as if she was lowkey scared to even ask.

"Meggie. I have feelings for you." Gus' gentle hands grabbed Margaret's face. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "It will be for as long as you'll have me. Be my girlfriend, boo? Be mine, please."

"Are you sure?" She wanted to agree so badly, but what if he was asking out of pity, was he asking only because he felt bad for her?

"Hell yeah, I am. Are you?"

"Yeah, I am. Can I get that kiss now?"

xxx

don't kill me, i know its been a loooong time, but college is kicking my fucking ass

i'll try to update more often, but no promises

love xx