Sam and Dean () Supernatural One Shots

Above the Noise and Confusion

"I don't believe in-" Dean stopped to consider himself carefully.

Sam's eyes widened, realizing what he was going to say.

"I don't believe in you, Sam."

It still drove knives into his heart as his older brother admitted his... disposition towards him.

"I mean, whether it's gonna be a demon chick, or blood, I don't know! And when Satan takes you over, someone'll have to be there to stop you."

"Don't say that," Sam pleaded. "Especially not you, not to me."

"I wish I was lying," the tears and cold steel in the older's green eyes hurt Sam more than any insult, any injury sustainable.

"Okay," Sam whispered, turning towards the door. "Okay. I understand. I understand. Dean," he looked back with his heartbroken puppy eyes, Dean wanting to stop, stop and cry and hug his baby brother.

His grown up, untrustworthy baby brother. At least in his eyes.

"Goodbye, Sam." The cold glint returned when he saw something shift in Sam's eyes, something he did not recognize and therefore feared.

"Bye." His watery cry reached no more than a whisper, but his insides hardened as he realized what he needed to do.

Sam let himself linger a second longer, taking the face of his brother in wholeheartedly before leaving, not shutting the door.

"Dean," he turned around, having forgotten one thing. He thought better of it, shutting his mouth and breaking eye contact with his brother for the last time.

With leaded legs he clumped up the stairs, and walked to Bobby's desk, grabbing a piece of paper and a black pen.

I realise what needs to be done.
It should have happened a long time ago.
My life was and is not worth your pain, Dean.
Kick their ass, Michael.

Don't try to find me, Dean. As Michael will tell you, I'm scattered like glass shards.

I love you, brother.
I'm sorry for letting you down.
But...
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

For everything. Including the last of the Lucky Charms. Everything.

I miss you.

-S.W.

Sam let one teardrop flow onto the letter, not having the energy to wipe it away.

He folded the letter and put in his pocket, walking out the front door.

"Castiel!" He shouted, knowing that the angel could hear him.

"Sam, whatever you are thinking-"

"Please," Sam begged, dropping to his knees, tears in his eyes and letter in his hand.

"You know what needs to be done."

"You are my friend," the unsureness and confusion in the angel's voice did nothing to Sam.

"That's why you have to do it. Just... Please."

Castiel slowly took the note, refusing to read.

"It will solve this mess. My mess. Please!" The sobs poured out of Sam like water from a river.

"I don't want-"

"Castiel if you have any wish for Dean to be happy. If you care about him and the world at all, you will scatter me among the stars, where no one can reach the remains."