Chapter 38
"Hey..."
Narinig kong pumasok ng kwarto ko si Love. I was just lying on my bed, not having the energy to do anything. I've been like this the past days. Walang ganang gumalaw o gumawa ng kahit ano. I feel lifeless.
I felt Love sat beside me.
"Di ka pa rin papasok sa school?" She asked. It's been a week since I last went to School. Hindi ko pa kaya. Hindi ko pa kayang salubungin ang mga tingin ng mga tao sa akin, iyong mga tingin nilang nanghuhusga.
I know I shouldn't let them in my system because it will just affect me big time. But it already did. Kailangan ko lang ng pahinga at mag-ipon ng lakas ng loob before going back to the place where every people I pass by will give me that look.
My sisters and friends already know about me breaking up with Troy. They said Troy comes every night to attempt to talk to me. I don't get why. He already accepted it when I told him I want us to break up.
"I know you're having a hard time, Hope. But it's already affecting your attendance in School. Do you want to take a formal leave?" She asked. This time ay umupo na ako mula sa pagkakahiga and faced her.
"I'll go back to school next week," I said. She gave me a small smile.
"I'll make sure to be with you until you reach your classroom. Those people who keeps staring at you creepily? I'll make sure to kick their asses if I see them giving you that look," she said. I gave her a small smile. I appreciate her and Faith for sticking with me and for not pushing me to do things I'm not yet ready to do.
"Thank you," I murmured. Alam kong ngayon ay sakit ako ng ulo sa kanilang lahat pero wala silang sinasabi. They try to understand me even if I can't understand myself. And for me that's already a big thing.
"Just know that Faith and I will always be here, okay? Hinding-hindi ka namin iiwan. Hinding-hindi kita iiwan," she mumbled. "Your fight is my fight too, okay?"
I can't help my eyes from tearing up. I am just so thankful for them. I'm so lucky I have them in my life. I can't even imagine going through something like this without them. Pakiramdam ko mababaliw ako kung wala sila.
"Come here," she said, saka hinila ako palapit sa kanya para yakapin. "I love you, okay? We all love you. Their words don't mean anything to us. Their opinion about you does not reflect you, it reflects them. We know you. You know you."
I hugged Love back. I really can't imagine life without her.
"I'll be here. Always," she whispered. "And you know, if you're really meant for each other, for sure, you'll still find each other at the right time."
•●•
The following week, I went to school as promised. Mula parking hanggang papunta sa classroom ay sinabayan ako ng mga kapatid ko. We had to go to school early para lang may time pa silang alalayan ako papuntang classroom kahit hindi naman kailangan.
Lio and Clarisse who also go to school late most of the time came to school early. Hindi nila ako hinayaang mag-isa. Lio would even hissed at the people who stares at me. Pinipigilan ko na lang kasi baka mapaaway pa.
That day, Troy didn't go to work. It was Ma'am Janette who took over his classes. I just tried not to mind.
Maybe I should just forget about it and focus on what I really came here for: graduate and be a doctor. Forget about how other people doubting me and my capabilities. I'll just prove them wrong. There's still hope.
•●•
Pagkatapos ng klase ay diretso uwi na kami. Faith still has a lot of acad stuff to do at ganoon rin ako. May kailangan pa kasi akong habulin dahil sa ilang araw kong pag-absent.
Gusto kong ilayo ang sarili ko sa kama ko kaya sa dining ako pumwesto para mag-aral. Andoon naman si Faith sa sala, nag-aaral habang nanonood ng How To Get Away With Murder. Nainggit tuloy ako kasi kaya niyang mag-multi task. Gusto ko rin sanang manood ng Grey's Anatomy kaso sigurado akong hindi ako makakapag-concentrate.
Faith stayed there until 12 midnight. It's already 1 am and I'm still here. Naabutan ko pang lumabas ng kwarto si Love.
"Long night?" She asked. I looked up and gave her a small smile.
"Mga kailangan akong ihabol na requirements," I replied. She nodded. "Are you okay?" I asked. Pansin ko kasing medyo may kakaiba sa kanya. She seems sad and not herself.
"Yeah, hindi lang ako makatulog," she responded. Hindi ko na lang siya kinulit kasi wala rin naman akong panahon para mangulit because I still have a lot of things to do. And if she has a problem, magsasabi naman siya. So I'll probably just wait for her to tell me what's bothering her.
Nagpatuloy ako sa ginagawa ko. It was past 2 am and I'm almost done pero antok na talaga ako. I just figured I'll sleep first. Gigising na lang ako nang maaga mamaya para tapusin 'to.
"Love, hindi ka pa matutulog?" I asked Love. She's still sitting there on the living room. Siya naman ang pumalit kay Faith sa panonood ng Netflix.
Love looked my way. "Hindi pa talaga ako inaantok eh. Una ka na. I'll sleep when I feel sleepy," she answered.
"Okay. Good night," sabi ko bago tumayo para pumasok na sa kwarto at matulog.
"Good night! I love you!" Pahabol ni Love.
•●•
"Hope! Hope!"
There was banging on my door. Nagmadali akong bumangon sa kama saka tumingin agad sa orasan kasi baka late na ako kaya ganoon na lang kung makakakatok si Faith. But it's still a little past 4 am.
"Hope!" Tawag niya ulit. There was something on her voice. She was crying. Bigla akong kinabahan.
I hurriedly opened the door and found Faith there crying and shaking.
"Hope!" She cried and hugged me so tight.
"A-anong nangyari?" I asked. Halos hindi na ako makalunok dahil sa kaba.
"Si L-love..."
Pakiramdam ko huminto sa pagtibok ang puso ko upon hearing my sister's name.
"Faith, anong nangyari?" I asked. My tears are already falling and I could also feel myself shaking. "What-"
"She.. she crashed the car."
