Epilogue
Sacrifice. It's one of the things that will help you realize just how far you can go for the one you love.
Up to what extent can you do for the one you love?
What sacrifices are you willing to do for the person you love and for yourself?
If people would ask me, I would say anything.
I know what I did in the past- giving up a supposed beautiful relationship- is something I cannot change. I already did it. I already wasted all those years missing him.
But if I have to do it again, I would.
Our love consumed us. We pushed it knowing that there could be consequences. We didn't care. We love each other. That should be enough.
But apparently, it isn't.
It was somewhat forbidden, wrong, inappropriate, but at the same time, right and inspiring.
I have always known it would affect me one day, but I didn't mind it so much. Until it already happened.
I love Troy. I never loved before but I was completely sure I love him. Breaking up with him hurts so much. Iniisip ko pa lang na hindi ko siya makakasama, nahihirapan ako. Pero mas lalo akong mahihirapan kung ipinatuloy ko iyon. SO I still think I did a good thing. It saved us from ruining ourselves more.
Recovering from the break up was definitely hard but I endured. And during those difficult times, I chose to rise despite the many fall. Kasi mahal ko rin ang sarili ko. I needed to heal so I can fully love him in the future.
And that future should be now.
"I'm sorry," I said as I stared on my food. I felt my tears forming up in the corners of my eyes. I didn't make any effort to stop those. I let them fall.
"Like I said, you don't have anything to be sorry for, Hope," he said. "Things happen. Pain happen. But even if I have to go through pain again just to be finally with you, I'll endure."
I bit my lower lip to stop it from shaking but it didn't help. "I broke up with you because I thought it was the best thing to do."
"I understand. I'm not upset. Not even disappointed. I knew it was more difficult for you. And I'm so mad at myself that I wasn't able to save you from all those people. If there's someone who should be sorry, it's them. It's those people who judged you quickly and those who sticked to their double standards. You don't deserve all of those."
I looked up and looked at him. I smiled through the tears. He then reached for my face and wiped my tears with his hands.
"I did the right thing, right?" I asked.
"You did."
"We both grow, right?"
"We did."
"Troy..." I called as I held his hand that's on my face. "This time it's okay, right? This time we don't have to sacrifice our peace, right?"
He nodded with a smile on his face.
"I'm sorry for all the pain," I mumbled. "Walang araw na hindi kita inisip. I got through med school because it was my dream. But I also made it because I know you want me to. Because I know you'll be happy if I did. You were always on my mind, Troy..."
"I love you," he whispered. I saw how his tears fell from his eyes.
"Ang dami ko pang gustong sabihin. Pero nawala na sa isip ko," I mumbled. I heard him chuckle.
I miss his chuckles. I miss just how manly it sounded.
He's in front of me yet I still miss him.
"You have the rest of our lives to think about those things that you want to tell me," he replied.
