Chapter 26
I haven't confessed in my whole life. I didn't think I even liked someone before. Hindi naman kasi ako 'yong tipong madaling magkagusto. I had crushes, yes, but it never reached the point where I felt like this.
This is really different. What Troy's making me feel is a whole different thing.
And it was enough for me to conclude I really like him.
Pero bigla akong nakaramdam ng hiya. Hindi kasi siya agad nakapagsalita. I suddenly have the urge to hide my face.
"Oh my god," I murmured as I fanned myself. Biglang nag-init ang buong mukha ko because of what I just said. Nakakahiya!
Was it a wrong timing? Am I not supposed to say it this early? Gosh, I'm feeling so paranoid!
"A-ano.... Just... Just forget about-"
He suddenly chuckled which made me stop from what I was about to say. He then stopped, looked at me, and smiled so widely.
"God, you have no idea how much you make me happy, Hope," he mumbled. My heart which is already beating so fast, beat even faster if that's possible.
He reached for my hand again and held it like he was afraid to let it go.
So what now? Are we supposed to be together now? Is this official? Gosh, I hate to be so clueless about this! I should've learned something about this from Love!
"I won't forget it, Hope. I will never," he murmured. "It means a lot to me."
"I was just... I'm sorry. I just don't know what to say or do."
"I like it when you're clueless. You're cute," he commented. Sinimangutan ko siya pero nginitian niya lang ako. "Like when you didn't know I was your instructor and even asked me if we're classmates."
"Why are you bringing that up now?" Nahihiyang tanong ko. Sa dami naman ng pwede naming pag-usapan, bakit 'yon pang katangahan kong 'yon?
"Because that was the first time I met you." He smiled sweetly at me. "You looked so happy singing there. It suits you. And you looked so beautiful. Right then, I knew there was something about you."
I knew there was something about him too. Back then, I thought it was because he's an instructor. But then just recently, I realized it was even something more.
"Pero..." I took a deep sigh and stared at his eyes. "Isn't this a bad thing? Us?"
I really am so clueless about these things. I didn't even know if it was right for me to bring it up. Pero kailangan naming pag-usapan. Kasi natatakot rin ako. If we decide to be in a relationship now, what's going to happen to us?
A relationship between a student and a teacher's something that is frowned upon by the University. I remember when I was still a freshman, a senior student was caught being in a relationship with her Professor. Kalat iyon sa buong school. When the school knew about it, the Professor lost his job and the student wasn't able to graduate. Turns out, hindi lang pala sa school kumalat 'yon. It became viral on social media and the whole country knew about it. For them it was scandalous.
And for me it's scary.
What if it will happen to us?
I saw how sadness filled Troy's eyes. But he was fast to shrug it off and smiled at me.
"We'll be careful," he said. "Ayaw kitang ipahamak so I'll be very careful, Hope. I promise no one will know about it. Not even my sister."
"Hindi ba mahirap 'yon? Ang magtago?"
"It will be hard. But we'll endure."
Yeah, I know it will be hard but I feel like it'll be harder if I won't get to see him. Gosh, is this really how it feels? Pakiramdam ko hindi kompleto ang araw ko kapag hindi ko siya makikita. Just the mere thought of losing him brought pain to my chest. Fudge, am I being clingy now?
"So..."
I looked at him as I waited for him to continue what he was gonna say.
"You're my girlfriend now, right?"
Kanina lang ay puno ng lungkot at pag-aalala ang loob ko pero ngayon, hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti sa saya. Or sa kilig?
"I guess?" Hindi ako sure! Totoo na ba 'to?
I saw him shaking his head while smiling.
"I'll ask again," he grumbled. "Hope, I know it was just last night when I told you I'll be courting you, but I'm willing to court you everyday. Just please, be my girlfriend?"
His smile was playful but I could still see the sincerity there.
Oh how I love to see that smile everyday.
"Okay."
•●•
Hindi na naalis ang ngiti sa labi ko kahit 'nong pauwi na ako sa amin. Iba rin 'yong sayang nararamdaman ko. Parang ayaw ko nang mawala 'yon.
Nakauwi na sina Love at Faith nang pumasok ako sa loob ng bahay. Love was in front of the television while Faith's in her room. Buti nga walang nagtanong sa kanila. At least I don't have to lie more.
Nang makapasok sa kwarto ko ay para akong tangang tumalon sa kama at nagpagulong-gulong. I even screamed while covering my face with a pillow. The happiness I am feeling is overflowing!
After expressing everything, I sat up and took my phone from my bag to text Troy I arrived home safely.
Gosh, it still feels weird to call him Troy. And that he's my boyfriend. Parang ang bilis but I don't really mind. Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganito, papalampasin ko pa ba?
Few seconds after I sent the text, I received a call from him. Ang bilis lang!
"Hi," he greeted. I could sense he was smiling from the other line.
"Hi," I replied. Para rin akong tangang napangiti while playing with the bed sheet. "Are you home?"
"Nah. Still stuck sa traffic," he answered. "Pero malapit na ako," he added.
"Okay." I suddenly don't know what to say next. "So uhmm... just focus on driving muna. Just text me later if you get home."
"Okay," he said. I could still sense he's smiling!
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Uhmm... Okay!"
I heard him chuckle. Natawa na lang din ako. Mukha kaming mga tanga.
"Really, okay," I said. I ended the call before he can even say okay again. Kasi kung hindi, baka maabutan pa kami ng hating-gabi kakasabi ng okay.
I was smiling so wide while staring at my phone that displays his name.
Sir Troy.
I can't lose the word Sir there. Baka kasi may ibang makakita. We said we'll be extra careful.
"Ang saya natin ah."
I almost jumped on my seat when I heard someone. Napahawak tuloy ako sa dibdib ko dahil sa gulat.
"Faith," I uttered.
"Pasok ako ha?" Paalam niya. Tumango na lang ako. She lied on my bed kaya humarap ako sa kanya while still sitting.
"Bakit?" I asked.
"Wala kang sasabihin?" She asked.
I'm quite sure she saw us last night and that she already has something in her mind. Si Faith 'to eh. Tanga 'to minsan pero matalino 'to most of the time.
But I promised Troy I won't say anything to anyone. I trust my sisters so much but I can't say it now. I'll definitely tell them but just not now. I'm still not ready.
Faith probably read what's on my mind because she sat up and smiled at me. "Tell me when you're ready," she mumbled. Nagpaalam na rin siya para bumalik sa kwarto niya.
Ugh! I hate it when I'm hiding something from my sisters. Specially something this huge. But I still have to gather my courage. By then, I'll tell them everything.
