Ascertainment || Bucky Barnes (2)

12

A knock on the bathroom door disturbed Basil's thoughts. "Hey, Basil. There's breakfast waiting for you when you get out", Sam's voice called. Basil sighed, the shower spray feeling heavenly on his skin. The pouring water having given him time to think as he washed away the marks of the explosion. His bandaged burns wrapped in plastic to keep the bandages dry as he washed. When he was done, he stepped out and dried himself off. Sam had given him a pair of black sweat pants and a white tshirt. He pulle on the trousers, wincing at the green bruise on his stomach.

The mirror was covered in condensation and he rubbed it off with the towel. His reflection stared back at him. Golden tanned skin pale than usual and accompanied by big black bags under his eyes. His curls hung damp across his forehead, ends burnt. They hung in black rings. The glint of his dog tags round his neck. He looked older than he'd had a week ago, or even a day ago. It was in the eyes. Green eyes as clear as jade held weight in them. Grief, pain, anger. A lot of trauma and a lot of emotions. Basil was sick of it. Sick of having his life played with by men who wanted to rule the world. War had cost him his youth; hydra had cost him his sanity, Zola had cost him his love, Schmidt had cost him his world, and now shield and hydra had cost him his last remaining hope. His last remaining faith in governments and in countries.

(Sarge. I give and I give and they take and they take. Is it ever enough? Is the world really worth so much? You died to capture a man who later went on just to reform hydra. The hydra that Steve and I died to destroy. When does it ever end? Will I just be fighting for this the rest of my life. One war after another? Battle after battle? The constant blood under my fingernails and the under my hands? I have kept Steve safe for you but he can't stop. Can I stop? War terrifies me but right now I don't care. I want to kill every last hydra officer left. Make them pay for what they have done, the lives they had destroyed. Sarge if you could see me now, would you recognise me? Would you still love me? I'm not sure if I can take much more of this. Are you watching? Are you sad? Have I become just as bad as them? How long can I keep this up? Steve always says that he can go all day but I'm getting tired. We just keep getting punched and punched and I'm not sure if I can continue to get up. But I love you. So I'm going to keep trying. I'm going to keep trying for as long as I can. Because I promised you that I would be with you till the end of the line, for as long as I love you. And I still love you so there's a line there somewhere and I'm still holding on. Just, please, please, be there there if this all goes to shit. I promise I'll keep trying).

Basil inhaled deeply and rubbed the tears from his eyes. He pulled on the shirt and unlocked the bathroom door. The others were all in the kitchen. Nat leaning against the kitchen isle while Sam speed cream cheese over a bagel behind her. Steve was seated at the table. An empty plate in front of him. He was dressed in a similar pair of sweatpants, grey, and a black tshirt. Both of which were a littler too small so they clung, compared to the too big sizes on Basil. Clothes on him were baggy and comfortable. Nat was wearing a black vest top and a pair of leggings.

"His Baz", Sam looked up as he entered. "What do you want on your bagel?"

Basil blinked as he sat down next to Steve. He rested his tired head on the blonde's shoulder, leaning against him silently. Steve didn't move, used to Basil's moments seeking touch. (It wasn't uncommon for him to simply lean against him after nightmares. Steve had long suspected that Basil's love language was touch. But years of trauma and chaos made it hard for him to show, so it was rare and only on extremely emotional come downs that he gave in and would lean on Steve like a younger brother). "Um, just toasted with butter, thank you", he mumbled. Sam nodded and slide a bagel into the toaster.

"So", Nat spoke up. "The question is, who in shield could launch a domestic missile strike?"

"Pierce", Steve stated. Basil recognised the name but he had never met the man.

"Who happens to be sitting on top of the most secure building in the world", Nat sighed. She straightened and began pacing round the small kitchen.

"But he's not working alone. Zola's algorithm was on the lemurian star", Steve pointed out.

"So was Jasper Sitwell", Nat voiced.

Steve took a breath. Basil silent against his shoulder, thumbs rubbing across names. "So the real question is, how does the three most wanted people in Washington kidnap a shield officer in broad daylight?"

"I could potentially do it". Basil muttered. "Just grab him and pull him through a wall. No one could stop me".

"No offence baby boy", Nat sighed, words sharp but tone gentle. "But you took a mental beating then you were caught in an explosion. You're not in the best shape right now, mentally or physically. You're dead on your feet". Basil gave a whine and lifted his head.

"We were all caught in that explosion. We all talked to Zola".

Steve sighed. "But we didn't see our lover die. It was bad enough the first time when I broke the news. I'm sorry you had to see it. I never knew there was footage of it".

"You can't protect me from everything Cap", Basil murmured softly. Head resting on the man's shoulder again. "Just like I can't stop you from jumping out of buildings, I can only patch you up after".

"I know". Steve didn't sound pleased by the fact. "I promised Bucky that I would keep and eye on you and so far it hasn't felt like I've been doing a very good job".

"Not your fault", Basil stated. "I don't blame you for anything. You had just as much control over our lives as I did. So stop taking the weight of the world on your shoulders, as your doctor I forbid it. It's bad for you mental health". Steve let out a slight chuckle.

"I'd hate to disrupt your moment here", Sam voiced as he dropped a file onto the table. It landed with a thick thwack. "But the answer to your question is, you don't".

"What's this?" Steve asked. Both him and Basil sitting up and leaning forwards to see. Nat crossed over and leant over the table.

"Calle it a resume", Sam stepped back.

"Is this Bakhmala?" Nat asked as she picked up a picture. "The Khalid Khandil mission, that was you?" She turned to Sam with surprise and respect on her face. "You didn't say he was a para rescue", she handed the photo to Steve.

"You look cool", Basil complimented. He paused, looking at the blonde man in the photo standing next to Sam. "Is this Riley?"

"Yeah", Sam nodded. They shared a look of understanding for a second before Basil turned back to the file.

"Heard they couldn't bring in the choppers because of the RPGs", Nat said. "What did you use? A steel chute?"

"No". Sam stepped forwards and pulled a second photo out of the file. "These".

"I thought you said you were a pilot", Steve smirked as he looked up.

"Oh no", Sam grinned. "I never said pilot".

"Those are so cool!" Basil gasped as he peered over Steve's shoulder. "I want to try!"

"I can't ask you to do this Sam", Steve sighed. "You got out for a good reason".

"Dude. Captain America and the freaking mad Medic needs my help. There's no better reason to get back in".

Steve nodded. "Where can we get our hands on one of these things?"

"The last one is at fort Meade. Behind three guarded gates and a 12 inch steel wall", Sam stated.

Steve glanced at Nat and Basil. Nat shrugged her shoulders and Basil grinned. "Shouldn't be a problem".

Unedited

AN: Hi all. My dog died today so I'm sad. Here's a sad update to spread the sadness. Enjoy.