Dream of me again. [COMPLETED]

Chapter 13

Makalipas ang ilang minuto ng katahimikan habang nakatingin sa mata ng isa't-isa, biglang nakaramdam si Valerie ng awkwardness. 

'Sheezy, anong sunod? Tutulala na lang ba kami all night? Pero okay lang naman sa akin...' Nagma-mallfunction na ang utak ni Valerie at kung ano-ano na ang iniisip. Ikaw ba naman ang titigan ng isang napakagwapong lalaki habang nakangiti lang sa'yo.

Natawa naman ng mahina si Cedric dahil mukhang nakalimutan ni Valerie na naririnig niya ang thoughts nito. Mas lalong nahiya si Valerie dahil sa awkwardness na nararamdaman kaya siya ang naunang pumutol ng eye contact at tumingin sa damit niya. "Ang ganda ng dress ko," Kahit gusto niyang mag-open ng ibang topic ay hindi niya maiwasang tumingin sa lalaki kaya nang mahuli siya nito ay nagpanggap na lang siyang nagulat at napahanga. "Hala! Ang gwapo mo diyan! Diyan ka lang ha, 'wag kang umalis para hindi ka pumangit HA HA HA!" Sinabayan pa niya ito ng awkward na tawa na mas lalong nagpa-awkward ng sitwasyon. 

Meanwhile, Cedric doesn't feel any awkwardness at all. In fact, he was cherishing every moment ever since Valerie remembers him. He just smiled and didn't move (also since Valerie said that he is handsome there).

Naglibot si Valerie sa hallway, examining the interior design of the hall, completely in awe by the small details which screamed elegance but simplicity at the same time. I want my house to look like this, she thought.

Then she turned to Cedric, "This place is wonderful! I don't know how I imagined this place—teka, bakit hindi ka na umalis diyan? Ano, natameme ka na sa beauty ko?" She joked, causing Cedric to wake up from his sea of thoughts. He suddenly remembered Valerie's last dream and he was thinking of what could be her problem.

Ignoring her joke, he asked her seriously, "Val, I saw what happened in your last dream and I was worried back then. Are you okay now? It's okay if you don't want to tell it to me but remember that I'm always here if you need a shoulder to lean on." 

Nagtaka naman si Valerie dahil ang huli niyang natatandaan na panaginip ay noong nagkasugat siya sa tuhod. Did she forget something?

"Ha? Okay naman ako di'ba? I don't... uh... ano ba yung last na panaginip ko?" Inosente niyang tanong. Nagbago naman ang ekspresyon ni Cedric mula sa seryoso hanggang sa pagtataka kaya nagsalita ulit si Valerie, "Wait! Don't be mad! I still remember you! Baka isipin mong nakalimutan na naman kita. I'm pretty sure that I remember everything by now, although hindi ko alam kung ano yung sinasabi mo. What did I do?"

Cedric chuckled at Valerie's alarmed face. "I'm not mad, and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way whenever I'm pissed about you forgetting me. It's just that it's been bothering me since you looked gloomy in that dream. You didn't said anything at first and just stared blankly in front, then you suddenly looked at me with a sad face and said 'I hate you' in the coldest way possible. Then you disappeared, and if I remember it correctly, it happened on the night of your birthday." Hindi na maitago ni Cedric ang pag-aalala habang inaalala ang pangyayaring iyon. "Tell me, is something wrong? Are you really okay?"

Biglang nag-pop na memory sa utak ni Valerie kaya naman naalala niya ang nangyari noong araw na iyon. "Ah, that day." Nanatiling tahimik si Cedric, waiting for her to continue. "I had a fight with my Dad on my birthday. It's because of..." Hindi niya nagawang ituloy ang sasabihin dahil involved din ang ina ni Cedric dito. Pero sa huli ay tinuloy niya pa rin ito at sinabi ang nangyari. After all, Cedric has the right to know what his mother is up to. "I-I just confronted him and asked if he still loves my mom. I don't know, pero I feel like he's slowly drifting away from my grasp. Nagkataon lang na napuno ako noong araw na iyon at hindi ko na kinaya kaya I let out all of my emotions that time." She said while looking down.

"Is it because of my mom?" Cedric slowly asked. Even though they both hate the idea of their parents being together for some reasons, they cannot deny the fact that their parents have a past, and it is more likely if they still have feelings for each other. 

Valerie didn't answer, confirming Cedric's question. 

Pagkatapos ni Cedric tanungin iyon, tumahimik na ang paligid. Wala ng nagsalita sa kanila kaya ngayon ay ramdam na talaga ang awkwardness. 

Cedric cannot stand the silence and he wanted to comfort her so he talked.

"I know you're having such a hard time with this, but I promise that I'll talk to my mother when I get out of here." Tumingin lang sa kanya si Valerie.

So our problems are connected after all, Cedric thought. I need to get out of here quickly.

Tahimik pa rin si Valerie, hindi dahil sa lungkot kundi dahil wala siyang masabi. 

"So, now that you remember me, do you have any news from my mother?" Kahit na ang topic ng kanilang problema ay ang kanilang magulang, hindi kaya ni Cedric na hindi mag-alala sa kalagayan ng kanyang ina. Kamusta na kaya siya? Ano ang ginagawa niya ngayon? Hindi ba niya hinahanap ang kaniyang anak?

Nag-iwas ng tingin si Valerie at hindi kumibo. Nang maalala niya ang mga nalaman niya kagabi ay hindi niya maiwasang malungkot at makaramdam ng pangamba. 

It's not about your mom but rather yourself. 

Pero kahit na may natuklasan si Valerie ay hindi niya ito sasabihin kay Cedric. Never. She doesn't want him to be hurt.

Sinubukan niyang alisin sa kanyang isip ang mga natuklasan niya kagabi ngunit paulit-ulit lang na nagre-replay sa utak niya ang mga post ng kaibigan ni Cedric sa timeline nito.

"Condolence, Cedric Yeong. I hope you're happy now in heaven."

Suddenly, the atmosphere became gloomy, or was it just in Valerie's head. Ignoring the awkward silence, she promised herself that she will try her best to find a way to get Cedric out there without telling him what she just discovered. She doesn't want him to suffer anymore. 

Naging tahimik na lang din si Cedric at hindi na nagtanong, in which Valerie questioned. Nakakapagtaka lang dahil kapag tungkol sa ina ni Cedric ang pinag-uusapan ay hindi ito natatahimik hanggat wala siyang nakukuhang kasagutan o confirmation, ngunit ngayon ay tila narinig din nito ang iniisip niya—fuchsia.

Napasampal na lang siya ng noo nang marealized na naririnig nga pala ni Cedric ang isip niya.

Sheezy ka Val, wala ka na bang mas ibobobo?

Sa huling pagkakataon ay tumingin siya sa binata, at nagulat ng makita ang mga luha na tahimik na umaagos sa pisngi nito. Ibubuka na niya sana ang kanyang bibig ngunit walang salita ang lumalabas dito. Hindi alam ni Valerie ang sasabihin sa sitwasyong ito. Tumalikod si Cedric ng bahagya para hindi ito makita ni Valerie ngunit kahit anong gawin pa niya ay hindi niya maikukubli ang kanyang lungkot na nararamdaman. 

Is there still a chance to see my mom? So my theory before is right? Am I really dead? Then why am I here? What am I still doing here? Why do I have to experience false hope just to be informed that I could never be with my mom again?

He silently cursed in his head. And although Valerie can't hear or read his thoughts, she can tell that he was suffering inside.

This is why she didn't want to tell him this. She doesn't want to see the pain that she once experienced. 

Napayuko na lang ulit si Valerie at tahimik na humingi ng paumanhin, umaasang papansinin siya ni Cedric ngunit tila naliligaw ang lalaki sa kanyang sariling iniisip. Nanahimik na lang din siya at hindi na nag-atubling magsalita pa.

Ngayon ay dalawa na silang nakayuko habang iniinda ang sari-sariling lungkot at problema. At kahit nakakabingi man ang katahimikan ay walang naglakas-loob na basagin ito.