I - Os Dois Lados da Lua | I - Two Sides of the Moon

I GET WILD ON GIRLS' NIGHT

POV HOPE

I didn't like dreaming. Usually, whenever it happened, it was a premonition of something bad to follow. But since what I like is making little difference to the universe, having this dream recurring almost every night since Landon's deathhas made me angry. It's not always the same dream, I see that the setting and the time when things happen are different, but overall, it's the same thing. I see someone, or something, walking, sometimes running, through trees. I'm not sure where, but there are trees. It's like I'm that person or something. Like I see everything with my eyes, like my feet touch the ground, like the wind hits my face when you run, but I know it's not me. I feel that the heavier my sleep, the more real the sensations, the more real my presence there, wherever it is. I see this person or thing take off and have a vision of jumping off something like a cliff. I wake up in fright, not knowing if she crossed or fell trying. The sun was already lighting up the room a little, so I decided not to try to sleep again.

I prepare myself for another day like all the others, empty. Between Landon's death and my reconnecting my humanity, two months had passed. That place without him made less sense to me. Every room, every space in that school held memories of us, happy or not, and that was torture. By now, no longer know if it was a good thing I was leaving school in four months, or if it was just another one sign of how aimless my life was getting. I finished my coffee and as I was leaving the kitchen I ran into Dr. Saltzman .

A: - Good morning.

H: - Not so much.

A: - Is there a problem?

I thought about the dreams, the obvious lack of Landon, and the whole existential dilemma that was stressing me out, but I didn't find it helpful to talk to him, so I just lied.

H: - No, nothing much.

A: - Well, even so, I think I have an invitation that will lift your spirits.

H: - Surprise me. - I said doubting.

A: - Let's go to my room, I need to show you a map.

We were. Once there, he opened a map of a forest a little way from the school.

H: - Let me guess, do you want to camp?

A: - Almost that. Now that I'm without Dorian, MG, Kaleb and I are responsible for hunting that supplies the school's animal blood supply.

H: - And?

A: - I thought maybe, just maybe, I would like to kill something for the greater good. Want to come with us?

I found the invitation thoughtful, a little action, adrenaline and violence could be helpful to get me out of my current depressed state. I was about to accept it when it happened again. Another vision of what appeared to be a forest. There were dry leaves on the ground and the wind that morning was cold, I could even feel the contact with the ground with every step I took. Her breath came in short pants, as if she were tired of walking, but she didn't stop. I don't know how much time I spent noticing this vision, but I came to when Dr. Saltzman shook me by the shoulders.

A: - Hope!

He had a worried look on his face and I had walked from his desk to the bookcase without even noticing.

A: - What happened?

H: - Nothing, I just got distracted.

A: - Don't come with that one for me. Your eyes were golden, you were like in a trance.

H: - It must have been your impression. I accept the invitation, tell me the time later.

After saying that, I left his office before he kept pushing me or following me. I went straight to the library, if that could hijack my conscience, it was more serious than just a weird string of dreams.