The Journey Ahead | Daryl Dixon

The Journey Ahead (22)

// The Video Actually Plays!!! (I suggest you listen whilst reading this chapter ) //

The sun was starting to set as Daryl and I still sat in the woods. We spent the day talking and just being happy in each other's presence. I had suggested we head back, that the group might have gotten worried and wanted to know where we were. He stood up and offered a hand out to me which I took. With little effort, he pulled me up, onto my feet and snaked his arm around my waist, leading my back to camp. We walked in step and trudged through the the tall grass, stepping over the thick patches to avoid falling over. We walked into the woods feeling hate, sadness and fear sweep over us, but left with a light heart and a happy conscience.

All of a sudden I looked up and saw a few members of the group pacing back and forth. I squinted to see Maggie with her head in her hands and Carol gripping the walkie-talkie and holding her head up with her hand. I immediately became worried and started to pick up the pace, slipping out of Daryl's reach. He called after me but I ignored him as I ended up sprinting across the field over to where Maggie sat.

"Maggie what's going on?!" I asked. She looked up at me with a tear stained face and looked shocked to see me actually with it. She wiped the stray tears away and attempted to pull herself together. "C..Carol, she... She." I stopped her and rubbed her back trying to calm her down. I stood back up and made my way over to Carol, who didn't look all that together.

"Carol... What's wrong?" She looked up at me with a pained expression and shook her head.

"Tyreese, he got bit."

I clenched my chest, desperately aching for a release. Carol noticed how the news hit and stood up to steady me.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" She said. I slipped out of her grasp and collapsed to the ground. My body went into shock at the reoccurring loss and I completely froze. Carol constantly shook me, begging for me to respond.

"Daryl!" She screamed for him. Within seconds he practically tripped over himself to get to my side. He got down on his knees and hovered over me, constantly checking for some sort of sign that I was okay. My mind was just as clouded as my breathing. Everything was falling apart and it happened so quickly. Nothing made sense, why was this happening? Were we destined to suffer? Was there no possible chance at happiness?

Daryl scooped me up in his arms and brought me to the back of the van, lying me down on the blanket he set aside for me last night. He sat me up and continuously rubbed my back, trying to get me to cope. He leaned towards me and whispered sweet nothings in my ear, automatically bringing me down from my panicked state. Although he wasn't one for words, He knew how to calm me down almost instantly.

I started to breathe, slowly but surely I was clam and collected. I nodded to Daryl to let him know I was good. He sat beside me in the back of the van and held my hand in his. I looked to him and saw concern evident in his eyes. A tear escaped that I didn't know was there and ran down my cheek.

"Have you, always had these... Attacks?" He questioned, almost afraid to touch base on the subject. I shook my head and looked to the ground.

"When the prison went down, the day you and Beth found me on the side of the prison, that when it all began." He shifted in his spot and waited for me to continue. "...when my daddy, passed. That's what triggered it. That's what pushed me over the edge." I said, my voice cracking towards the end. Daryl pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around me, planting a kiss at the top of my forehead. His thumb ran small circles on the top of my hand, calming me instantly.

"Nothin to worry about. It's all gonna be alright." He whispered. I closed my eyes and wanted to believe it, but the whole idea of everything being alright was just a fantasy.

////

Rick, Glenn, Michonne, and Noah returned with Tyreese, we didn't even get a chance to say our goodbyes. Rick and Glenn carried Tyreese over with heavy hearts and lied him in the grass. Sasha ran to his side and cried into his chest as she clenched the fabric of his shirt in her fists and let the tears fall. I walked up behind her and placed my hand on her shoulder. She quickly snapped her head up and looked at me with tears constantly spilling. I let a small sympathetic smirk show and crouched down to her level. She looked at me with a scared, pained expression. But I knew, in that moment, exactly what she was going through.

I reached over to her shaking hands and took them in mine. Her stifled cries became more and more relaxed as I showed her that I could relate.

"It's better now." I said. I had taken me days to realize, up until this point that it was better. Beth was never made to fight the dead, we all knew this. But towards the end, I saw a side of her I never knew. She had... Changed. Her entire being was altered when she was alone. She became stronger, more able. I needed Sasha to realize that it was time to let go. I know it would be hard, believe me, I know. But it's much more than that. We need to know that our loved ones have moved on, gone to a better place. A place away from the suffering, from the heartache. This doesn't mean we should just opt out and leave the world behind. We need to carry on, to show the ones that have passed that we lived. That we were strong enough to deal with the world and take on whatever life had to throw our way ...It just took me this long to notice.

Sasha returned the smirk and cried into my shoulder. I felt as though a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. The wind blew past us and blew my hair in all different directions. I smiled, knowing that I accepted it. I had accepted that there would be more and more heartache in the future, but that is just life. The pain doesn't just go away, you just make room for it.

We let Rick, Glenn and Daryl take Tyreese away and do what they had to do. I sat there and comforted Sasha, letting her mourn.

////

The sun was setting as we all formed around Tyresse's grave, which was right next to Beth's. Sasha took Tyreese's beanie and placed it on the top of his cross. They weren't the sturdiest, most fancy crosses, but they had meaning.

I stood by Sasha and held her hand. She looked up to me and smiled.

"Thank you." She said barely above a whisper. I nodded and squeezed her hand for reassurance.

The rest of the time was spent remembering our loved ones. I took into account all those we've lost along the way and let them go. The wind blew past us again and this time I opened my eyes. I could have sworn I saw Beth sitting before me leaning against her cross. The gunshot wound was still imbedded in her forehead, but she was smiling. There were tears swelling in her eyes and she shook her head, but she wasn't upset. She started to laugh as a tear slipped down her cheek.

"Take care." She whispered. I blinked constantly to make sure it was real, but once I opened my eyes, she was gone. I looked down to see my necklace that Daryl made me was placed before her grave, Lying on top. I walked up and took it, constantly feeling the smooth stone in my grasp. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Daryl by my side. I clenched the necklace in my fist and smiled.

It was going to be okay.