Dreamnotfound | Oneshots

The Other Side👑❌

The Other Side:
            -George has a rough past, not in the PTSD sense but the drowning in self deprecating thoughts sense. The ones he got from having Anxiety, Depression, being an ex self harmer, and lastly a minor bulimic disorder. He gets by though, he thinks.

💫People Included💫
           -Dream
           -George
           -Sapnap

I've noticed a lot of people talk about the large things that come with having multiple different disorders that come from highschool and middle school stress, but they never talk about the small details. The ones were you can truly relate to and feel like someone understands those emotions hiding behind layers of fear. I wanna do that, I wanna relate because god do I wish someone would relate to me. So here we are 😀.

-WARNING-
       -Bulimia, Self Harm, Depression
       -Also Anxiety

Also this will be short, like a whole day chapter. That's it.
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It wasn't a whole day thing.

George woke up in the morning after a night of doing nothing but drawing, paintings upon paintings covering his floor. He'd never liked a mess, couldn't stand the dirty dishes that piled or the boxes that sat in corners. But he found himself looking around to see that mess, to anyone else it wouldn't look that bad but to him it put a heavy weight over his body. Realizing he'd have to clean it made the tears press hard on the back of his eyes but he ignored it in favor of picking up the few cups that gathered around his end table. Picking up his heavy body to go down the hallway with a song endlessly playing in his head. There were many things to do today and with his new found productivity it seemed perfect. Sitting down the cups in the sink he feels heavier when he sees the dishes to wash, but pushes it off. It could wait.

That was the morning, cleaning his room and fixing the mess that had taken over. Thinking about showering but pushing it off, it could also wait. He got on his computer going on Minecraft to play a few rounds of anything he could get his hands on. Dream was streaming today and he wanted to practice, so he could say he finally beat the dumb blonde. It seemed to be perfect until the productivity faded away and left him a little less that able to do anything. So he got out of his seat and went to his bed, he didn't feel like going to sleep but he didn't feel like doing anything. It would be better than anything to just lay there and not think about getting older. Having more responsibilities than he already had and getting up enough to record a video to make money. Then there was that nagging question of why he didn't just kill himself? Why didn't he just give in despite the fear that hold him, well he didn't want to die. He didn't want to die but he didn't want to live another day. He wanted to disappear with free range to everything he loved. He wanted something that wasn't possible.

The thoughts can only spiral to wondering if there was any place to go or if it would just be a black space with nothing. Would he rot in the ground and sit there stuck? The tears push harder and he pushes back adjusting in his spot, the covers becoming too hot with growing agitation. What if he'd never met Dream, would he be less famous? Would he not have a career? What if something came up? He had to prepare for the stream in an hour, he had to get out of bed. He doesn't want to, picking up his phone deciding it would be okay to scroll through TikTok.

Little over an hour later he finally does go off, seeing one of the many tiktoksn with the self harm day counter. He had never made one personally, but in a way he wanted to. He could just cut himself to reset it and actually know, but why ruin the time he's spent avoiding it? Then again he could just do it one time and then start it. Not think about that addicting feeling again for the rest of the day. Not think about it for the rest of the week, month. These couldn't be rational thoughts, unless they were.