Addicted to you. Hosie / Hizzie

I love it

I must've passed out last night... as I don't remember getting back to my dorm at all... although I woke up tucked tightly into my bed.

One perk of being a tribrid is that hangovers are minimal, I've luckily escaped this one.

I soak up everything that happened last night... the confession Josie told me... The way I felt about Lizzie. 

The thing is, I convinced myself that it was normal... for the girl I was hooking up with to have a boyfriend, and I thought I'd be fine with it. But maybe Josie is right, Lizzie was using me.

But I mean can I blame her? I'd pretty much done the same thing.

I just lay there, I was so annoyed at everyone I cared about... Josie for putting that one me and Lizzie for absolutely nothing.

I think I've escaped the hangover of course that is until the thuds of someone knocking on my door went right through me... The supernatural hearing was something I loved and hated.

"Coming" I murmer as I roll out of bed.

 Making myself look semi-presentable in the process, tying my hair up.

I open the door to see her... Lizzie.

"Seriously" Lizzie utters before pushing past me, knocking my shoulder.

"What" I try adjust myself to the sound of someone else.

"What was that about last night 'Leave you alone'..." Lizzie's tone becomes more annoyed.

"It meant, leave me alone" I try act cocky, but its immediately shut down by Lizzie, which is clearly shown in her face as she looks as if she's trying not to knock me out.

"I'm not being funny Mikaelson but that was uncalled for" Lizzie adds.

"You know what else was uncalled for... parading around with Sebastian like you're not sleeping with me behind his back" I spit out... pretty much regretting it all as I say it.

"Oh so thats what this is about... okay got it" Lizzie mimics.

"Jealousy isn't a good look on you" Lizzie adds.

"Seriously? Are we going to completely ignore how last night you looked at Josie like she'd murdered your entire family, for what? Because she was with me?" I intervene.

"Lets remind you what she did to you-" Lizzie tries to speak.

"And I've not forgiven her have I? She's my best friend Lizzie." I cut her off.

"Whatever" Lizzie tries to leave.

"I Just like how I'm so disposable to you. I'm here whenever you feel like getting off. I'm here whenever Sebastian doesn't pay attention to you... You're using me and I hate it" I drag her back into the room.

Her face says it all... if she wasn't pissed before... she sure as hell is now.

"You really want to go that far? Don't even act like you weren't using me to get back at Josie. If you want to talk about using people... look at yourself first" Lizzie spits at me, her tone clear.

I don't say a word... she was completely right... I was being hypocritical as hell.

"So what do you expect me to do Mikaelson? Break up with the boy I've been with since 5th grade, My friends ask me why... 'Oh yeah I'm into girls now' No Hope you don't seem to get it... it isn't as fucking easy for me. I Have this reputation of being the 'perfect' girl that has the perfect life..." Lizzie explains.

You could tell she's thought this through... I couldn't even explain how I felt right now.

"But its all a lie" I try to snap her out of it.

"And I'm okay with living a lie. Can't you just accept that" Lizzie hisses.

"No. No I can't. You know why? Because as much as I hate to say it, you've grown on me and maybe a part of me has started to feel things towards you that I can't shake. So I'm sorry if I'm struggling to comprehend you living a lie" I hiss back.

I come to realise what I just said... I just admitted my feelings for a girl who was okay with living the basic popular girl dream... and I sure as hell wasn't... but It made me realise I'd wait.

"Well I'm sorry my 'perfect' little life isn't good enough for you Mikaelson. Now take your own advice and leave me alone" Lizzie runs out the dorm, slamming the door behind her.

As much as I wanted to run after her... I couldn't bring myself to do so.

I slumped back onto my bed. I curled up in my covers and I wished I'd never wake up... The fact is It felt real... which is why It hurt so bad.

I let her go. 

I felt awful... I was so hypocritical and naive to even think something could come of this... for fuck sake its Lizzie Saltzman all she does is hurt me.

Hours flew by as my sad playlist replayed for a total of 3 times... each coming in at 2 hours a piece. 

I just went over all the times she'd been there for me... even with Josie... she stood up to her own sister for me... and I took that for granted.

Then I came to the conclusion... it was all my fault...

How dare I expect her to up-root her life... she'd given me all she could and I took it for granted.

I hated myself for it.

More hours passed... I just wanted a text... or anything. Hoping to god she wanted at least something to do with me.

But nothing... As I lay there. Hope Andrea Mikaelson really... really...really liked Lizzie. And they say you realise what you had when its gone. And sure as hell I wasn't ready to let whatever that was go.

Tomorrow I was going to make it right.