Mr. Cheese: I know this is completely unrelated to anything currently happening right now, but soup and stew are drinks. It is acceptable to have them in a cup.
Gentleman: Soup and stew are not drinks, that's disgusting.
Mr. Cheese: They are drinks.
Gentleman: You can have them in a cup, but they're not drinks.
Mr. Cheese: They're liquid. You swallow without chewing. That's a drink.
Gentleman: You swallow stew without chewing?
Mr. Cheese:
Mr. Cheese: Okay, not the chunks of stew. But you can drink the broth.
Gentleman: You eat soup. You don't say we drink soup because that sounds dumb. You eat it.
Mr. Cheese: Well, it may sound wrong but it's accurate.
Gentleman: No, it's not.
Mr. Cheese: "I'm gonna go drink some Campbell's tomato soup." See? No problemo.
Mr. Egg: It's sort of like a sauce, is it not? And sauce ain't a drink.
Mr. Cheese: Okay, hold up, where did you get sauce from?
Mr. Egg: Idfk...tomato soup...ketchup...
Mr. Cheese: What are we putting soup in?
Mr. Egg: In a bowl. Or a cup, idk.
Mr. Cheese: Sauce is not a drink because it's meant to be eaten on top of something else. Soup however is its own thing. Therefore it is a drink.
Mr. Egg: Tell that to Veteran. He chugged mayo once.
Gentleman: You guys are gonna make me cry, and I cry, like, one time a year maximum.
Mr. Cheese: Veteran's an outlier and therefore shouldn't be counted.
Mr. Egg: You can't order soup at cafés as a drink. On menus, it's under food, is it not?
Mr. Cheese: BECAUSE CAFÉS ARE COWARDS
Mr. Egg: SOUP IS FOR EATING.
Mr. Cheese: Anyways, I'm going to go back to the topic of stew.
Mr. Egg: Stew is not a drink.
Gentleman: I'm gonna go stew in despair now.
Mr. Cheese: You might say stew is not a drink because it has chunks you can't swallow. However, ice water also has chunks you can't swallow and it's still a drink. Soup equals drink.
Mr. Egg: OKAY WHO SAYS I DON'T SWALLOW ICE. I FUCKING SWALLOW THEM AND CHOKE ON THEM AND CRY.
Gentleman: Excuse me what-
Mr. Egg: Also, soup is a combo of food items, and stew is too. THEY ARE FOODS.
Mr. Cheese: SO IS A MILKSHAKE OR A PROTEIN SHAKE BUT THOSE ARE DRINKS.
Mr. Egg: THEY CAN BE BOTH.
Mr. Cheese: MANY DRINKS ARE A COMBO OF FOOD ITEMS
Mr. Egg: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Gentleman: They're drinks because they're finely blended. And ice water? Only the WATER is a drink.
Mr. Cheese: Soup is finely blended as well.
Gentleman: LIES. THE CARROTS? THE WATERCRESS? THE CHICKEN??? FIGHT ME!
Mr. Cheese: If I open a can of Campbell's tomato soup I better not see any fucking carrots in there. I just mix it with milk.
Gentleman: CAMPBELL'S CAN GO DROWN IN CRANBERRIES LIKE THAT ONE AD I HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT. CAMPBELL'S TOMATO SOUP ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE CARROTS IN IT. Case closed. Soup is not a drink. Go fuck yourself. The broth? Technically a drink. But soup? Get outta here.
Mr. Cheese: no i refuse
Mr. Egg: ARE YOU GOING TO FIND TOMATO SOUP IN THE DRINKS AISLE IN A SUPERMARKET? ARE YOU GOING TO FIND MOTHERFUCKING CAMPBELL'S TOMATO SOUP IN THE DRINKS AISLE???
Mr. Cheese: BECAUSE MARKETS ARE COWARDS. Because the status quo has not been changed!
Mr. Egg: Alright, so is gravy a drink?
Mr. Cheese: Gravy is a sauce.
Mr. Egg: And soup is a soup.
Mr. Cheese: YOU DON'T HAVE GRAVY ON ITS OWN. If you have gravy on its own then yeah, it's a drink!
Mr. Egg: WTF GRAVY IS NOT A DRINK
Mr. Cheese: If you're having it alone and not on mashed potatoes or some shit then it's a drink. I wouldn't do that, but whatever floats your boat, y'know? haha like a gravy boat get it
Mr. Egg: What.
Mr. Cheese: If it's liquid you don't chew, then it's a drink.
Mr. Egg: Okay. In that case, most soups are foods. Do you just swallow the entire fucking can?
Mr. Cheese: Sure, you can use a spoon, but you don't have to. It's the same consistency as, like, a protein shake, which is decidedly a drink.
Mr. Egg: Soups are made as a food. Protein shakes? They were made with the intent of being a drink. Which, y'know, you drink.
Mr. Cheese: Yeah, they have more sustenance then, like, water, but it's still a drink. Something can be a meal and a drink.
Mr. Egg: Clear soups can be drinks, I guess. But creamy soups? Those shits are food.
Mr. Cheese: You don't have to eat it with a spoon though! You can gulp down soup on its own from a cup. Creamy soups have the consistency of a shake, and are therefore still drinks. Thick drinks, sure, but still drinks nonetheless.
Mr. Egg: So if I gulp down, say, rice from a cup, it's a drink.
Mr. Cheese: No, because you have to chew rice.
Mr. Egg: Not if I gulp it.
Mr. Cheese: It's not a liquid.
Mr. Egg: And with that logic, you gotta chew the freakin' food chunks in the stew.
Mr. Cheese: No, because ice water is still a drink and you have to chew the cubes.
Mr. Egg: THE ICE. IS NOT. A DRINK.
Mr. Cheese: A drink can have chunks in it and still be a drink. But it's part of it.
Mr. Egg: THE ICE IS A SOLID PART OF THE DRINK.
Mr. Cheese: IN A STEW THE BROTH IS TECHNICALLY A HEAVILY DILUTED VERSION OF THE STEW PARTS! IT'S GOT THE MEAT, VEGETABLES AND SPICES! Cased closed.
Mr. Egg: Fine. How about the answer is that soup can either be food OR a drink.
Mr. Cheese: Fine.
Gentleman: I fucking hate this lobby.
