Bewildered 🌸 (kja)

Bluer Than Blue

After you go, I can catch up on my reading
After you go, I'll have a lot more time for sleeping
And when you're gone, looks like things are gonna be a lot easier
Life will be a breeze, you know
I really should be glad

But I'm bluer than blue, sadder than sad
You're the only light This empty room has ever had
And life without you is gonna be
Bluer than blue

After you go, I'll have a lot more room in my closet
After you go, I'll stay out all night long if I feel like it
And when you're gone I can run through the house screaming
And no one will ever hear me
I really should be glad

But I'm bluer than blue, sadder than sad
You're the only light this empty room has ever had
And life without you is gonna be
Bluer than blue

I don't have to miss no TV show
I can start my whole life over
Change the numbers on my telephone
But the nights will sure be colder

And I'm bluer than blue, sadder than sad
You're the only light this empty room has ever had
And life without you is gonna be
Bluer than blue

Bluer than blue

(Song by Michael Johnson)

Liza played a sad song on her iPad, her eyes vacant as she stared at the pink ocean from her bedroom. She lost track of time since the scandal—was it three weeks? A month? The song just made her feel more lost. Her friends tried to reach out, but she ignored them. She deleted all her social media accounts and set her phone to flight mode. In her room, she kept herself shut off from the world. No one even asked how she was doing. When it was time to eat, a maid would bring her food and clean up without saying a word.

She looked much paler and thinner than before, with dark circles under her eyes. She seemed deeply unhappy and sick, but she didn't seem to care at all.

Her door creaked open, but she remained unmoved, a ghostly figure on the couch. Her eyes were fixed on the distant ocean, the vast expanse mirroring her emptiness. She sat there, lost in a desolate trance, untouched by the world outside her room.

Tulala.

Wala sa sarili.

After days of crying, all her hurt took over her feelings. She was so tired that she could barely move.

"Liza.." it was her mom's voice. After days, ngayon niya lang muli narinig ang boses ng mommy niya. She slowly shifted her gaze to her mother.

After seeing her daughter in such a poor state, Karen was so surprised. "A-Anak?" She looks so ghostly pale! Her skin color ranged from blue to violet to pale yellow, and she had dark circles under her eyes and a few red veins on her pale yellow cheeks. It's easy to see that she's lost weight thanks to her deep collarbone.

Karen felt the urge to cry. She should not have ignored Liza. She should have at least listened to her. Liza looked so miserable! "Oh, honey..." Dali-dali niyang nilapitan ang anak at niyakap. "Oh God, my sweetheart." She kissed her hair and raised her face. Liza seemed emotionless and lifeless. Even her blue orbs were dull and tired. "H-hey... Talk to me. Say something..." Karen said this while wiping away her tears.

Liza made a conscious effort to speak, but she was at a loss for words. "M-mom..." she says it so softly it's almost a whisper. Her voice was so raspy that it sounded exhausted and worn out.