⛧┈♛ 𝐈𝐃𝐘𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐂 ♛┈⛧

𝗗𝗔𝗡𝗜𝗘𝗟 𝗦𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗬

➽───────────────❥

The doctor looks up at the results in front of him with a sympathetic smile on his face, I clutch Daniel's hand tightly "we had another one?"

The doctor nods, "I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Seavey, you had a miscarriage." Even though I knew what he was going to say, it still hit home every time.

The doctor continues, "there are other ways to-"I walk out of the room before he can finish his sentence, I already know what he wants to say. There are other ways we can have a child, like artificial insemination or adoption. They always say the same thing.

Tears blur my vision as slide down the hospital wall outside, I let the tears drop as I place a hand on my stomach. For the past 1year, Daniel and I have been trying for a child but every time... every time I seem to have a miscarriage.

It doesn't get easier, no matter how many times I've heard the doctor say those words, it never gets easier. Each one hurts more than the last.

Is it too much to ask?

All I want is to finally walk out of this hospital happy with Daniel.

I'm so tired of crying about the same thing, hearing the same words.

Daniel runs out, eyes searching for me, till he finally sees me against the wall, on the floor. I can see his red eyes and I know it hurts him the same way it hurts me every time we hear those words.

He sits in front of me before pulling me against him, wordlessly wiping away my tears and kissing my forehead. We're sat on the ground, outside a hospital but the only thing that matters is that we both lost a child.... Again.

When I finally calm down, he picks me up and walks towards the car. He puts me in the passenger seat quietly before returning to the driver's side. I lean on the window, watching the cars go by but in my peripheral vision, I see Daniel raise a hand to wipe his cheek.

He was crying. I reach for the hand that wasn't on the steering wheel and intertwine our fingers, he lifts our laced hands and places a kiss on my hand. An assurance that we'll be okay.

We'll be okay.

Daniel parks the car, turning off the engine. I step out of the car and we walk inside our house together, we change and get into bed wordlessly.

I lay my head on his chest, my hand pressed against my stomach.

Where my baby used to be

"I love you" Daniel whispers into my hair and I just interlace our fingers, unable to form any words.

**

"How hard was it for you to give birth?" Kay asks Gabbie. Gabbie had Lavender 2 months ago, so right now, I, Gabbie, Kay and Tate are sat in Gabbie's living room.

Lavender is in my arms and she's so precious, tiny and adorable. As Gabbie explains what her delivery was like, I find myself drifting away. Lost in my thoughts of when I'm going to have a child of my own, the labor pain, at this point I want all that. "Y/n, Y/N" Kay's voice snaps me out of my thoughts, "huh? Yeah, what's up?" I smile at the worried faces, to calm them down.

"Are you okay?" Gabbie asks unsurely, I nod "I'm fine, guys. I'm okay" I'm lying. I just want to reassure them, how could I be fine when I had a miscarriage 6 months ago and the only thing I keep hearing is how amazing it is to have a child?

I quickly hand Lav to Kay who is sat beside me as I rush to the bathroom to stop myself from crying in front of them. I shut the bathroom door behind me, breaking down as soon as I lock the door. Pushing my braids back as I cry, trying to be quiet so my friends don't hear me. Gripping the ends of my crotchet braids as I squeeze my eyes shut, mourning the loss of my child.