ambit. [hs au]

Chapter 08

"What do you mean, one of Harry's songs?" I raise my eyebrows.

Ever since that night at the church, I've been vehemently trying not to think about that song they played.

Because, you know, TJ said it was written by "a friend", and dedicated it to "H". Then, he proceeded to maintain eye contact with me whilst singing it.

I didn't need to be a genius to figured out what he was singing about.

But there's a part of me that has been trying to convince myself it was all just a coincidence. I mean, why the fuck would someone write a song about me? Or dedicate it to me, especially after so many years? It feels too narcissistic to even think of the possibility, even though all evidence kinda pointed to it.

The main reason why I've been denying myself even the possibility of acknowledging what that song was about, is because I don't actually believe I would ever have enough of an impact in someone to have a song written about me.

Especially with those lyrics.

"Well, I thought it was obvious." Luke shrugs, raising his glass to his lips and taking a big sip before he goes on. "The third song we played was written by Harry. I didn't know it was about you, but he made quite a point taking you backstage while we were playing it."

Oh.

I didn't think he saw it.

"Oh, yeah, I, hmm..." I babble, apparently losing all my capacity of putting a fucking sentence together. "He wanted to, uh, talk, it has been years since the last time we saw each other and, hm, yeah."

Luke chuckles, shaking his head and finishing off his drink with one big gulp. "Sure, he wanted to talk. Sounds like something Harry would do." He winks, making it crystal clear that he knows I'm full of shit.

Considering my complete lack of social skills to formulate a tangible answer, I just nod, looking away while silently asking myself why the fuck do I even try.

I mean, it's not like I've always been like this. Though I'm a bit shy, I'm not a complete introvert. In fact, it only takes a little familiarity for me to turn into the group entertainer, cracking up jokes here and there and making everybody laugh. Besides, I was never super shy around men, on the contrary really, I used to be a straight-forward girl.

I never thought I could change my personality like that, but apparently all it took was a failed marriage to prove me wrong and turn me to a complete clown when it comes to talking to attractive guys.

Or maybe it's just because I've never had to coexist with a guy as hot as Luke.

I mean, dayum. The man is a whole fucking snack.

"So, what are your plans tonight?" He asks, his eyes slowly scanning my face and down my sweatshirt-clad body.

"Uh, nothing. I have nothing planned." I answer with a shrug, mentally cringing with my lack of social life. I can't even pretend I'm interesting, fucks sake.

Well, why do I even want to sound interesting, to begin with? After what happened with Harry at the church the other night, it's quite clear I'm definitely not in the right state of mind to enjoy the male company in that way.

I should probably become a nun, from now on. Unable to have children and too broken to even think about dating again; the only choice I seem to have now is to marry Jesus.

"I'm going back to the church, wanna come over?" Luke asks, that smug grin still playing on his lips.

I frown, for a moment actually believing he just read my mind. He throws me a funny look, probably thinking I've just had a stroke, and it takes me a hot minute to realize he's talking about his nightclub, not a convent somewhere.