ambit. [hs au]

Chapter 68

You know that I'm tired
Know I want to be through
With whats trying to kill me baby
Know that you're struggling too
And I know I can be
Something stronger and true
These worries just paralyze me
But I'll do this for you

Song: Never Whole, by Landon Tewers

***

Harry's P.O.V:

*** 3 hours earlier ***

Los Angeles International Airport.

The last time I walked through these long corridors, I had tears in my eyes, a broken heart and the certainty I'd never set foot in this place again.

It was the final moments of a life I knew I could never have, it didn't matter how much I wanted it. But I was kinda okay with that, knowing at the time I had so much bigger fish to fry.

I guess that's the main change from 6 years ago, because today, nothing matters more than being here. I'm still heartbroken and still have tears in my eyes, though. That seems to be the pattern when it comes to this place and myself; tears and heartbreak.

Fucking Los Angeles, a place I never thought I'd come back to. What is she even doing here?

Is she only running away from me, or is she planning to go back to the life she left behind? Have I broken her heart so deeply she has actually decided to move on? To move back?

I think I might've broken some sort of record between the moment I stepped out of the plane, to the moment I was jumping into a cab, practically screaming the address Sadie gave me. I guess it's a good thing that the only luggage I have with me is my phone with a dead battery, my wallet and the fucking rain coat I'm now having to carry around because it's so bloody hot in this city.

It fucking drives me crazy to think I wouldn't even know what's happening if I wasn't snooping around Luke's flat. I was just looking for some of his weed, needing to distract my mind after the long fucking hours of serious conversation I just had with him and TJ; the last thing I expected when I barged into the bedroom without knocking was to find Sadie in the middle of a call with her.

But what surprised me the most was what they were talking about; apparently, she was having dinner with Chris.

I hope he takes good care of you.

I felt like vomiting when I heard the words that fell from Sadie's lips. Why would he take care of her? She doesn't need him, she has me.

Not that she knows that. For all she knows, I want nothing to do with her anymore. And she couldn't be more wrong to think that, but it's my fault. I'm the fucking idiot who pushed her away.

For a moment there, I pretended I didn't realize Sadie had been throwing me dirty looks since the moment I stepped into Luke's flat earlier that night. I was avoiding her like the plague, but as soon as she finished off that call, I was cornering her for answers.

"Birdie is with Chris, dickhead," she told me with a sadistic spark in her eyes. "Congratulations, you managed to cast her back into his arms."

"She... She's back with him?" My voice broke at the end of the sentence, a mix of anger and desperation hitting me so strongly my legs went numb. "Is she... Did she backtracked from the divorce?"

"Well, I don't know about that," Sadie shrugged, rolling her eyes. "Don't know what she'll do with the divorce, if it will even be a divorce anymore. She's having dinner with Chris as we speak, and honestly, she's fucking right to do so. He'd never abandon her the way you did."