ambit. [hs au]

Chapter 63

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

song: hyperballad, by björk

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TW: mentions of gruesome violence and abuse.

Please be aware this chapter might be triggering.

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Harry's P.O.V:

What a fucking horrible day.

From the moment I woke up, every minute has been a fucking nightmare; bureaucratic with business, having to deal with fucking incompetent people, meeting after meeting, problem after problem. I've been fighting for years to untangle my name and all the things I've inherited from the dirty, corrupt stuff my father built in his time, and this means I've been stepping on powerful people's toes.

I'm always tense, always on high-alert, and it's fucking exhausting. Not to mention the added stress of knowing there's a fucking serial killer in my track; I'm walking around with a target on my back.

Coming for me was definitely not in our plans when we worked together in ambit, but they fucked up and our deal is off now. I have no idea what they're doing next, it has been driving me fucking insane. I hate not having control of things.

And as if everything wasn't enough, I still had to deal with Vivien calling me all day long. Sometimes she just can't take a hint. I declined every one of her calls, yet she managed to leave at least 4 voice mails in my inbox, which of course, I didn't listen to.

It's awful to know how much she deteriorated in such a short period of time. Until a couple of months ago, she was a person I respected. She was fierce and brave, but ever since his brother was sent away, she became a junkie mess. I know I'm being an awful friend to her lately, but honestly, with her it's always drama after drama, and I simply can't deal with that anymore. She has Kim and the boys to help her. She has a new boyfriend too. She doesn't need me, and it's a fucking relief.

Needless to say, today is one of those days where I just want to get home, take a long shower and turn my mind off of things. The only comfort I had throughout the whole day was knowing Birdie would be waiting for me when I finally returned. Tonight, I want to be with her more than anything.

Ever since Birdie moved into my house, I've been trying to stay in as much as I can. Although I have a lot to do on a daily basis, it's way better to do it knowing she's only a few feet away from me. Sometimes working on her book, sometimes playing around with Zale, sometimes baking cookies, sometimes just taking a nap upstairs in my room - she's always there.

And I fucking love it. I never thought I would, though - I'm a big believer in having my own space, where I can be unbothered and as private as I want to be. So the idea of having someone around all the time was never one that thrilled me.

But I guess Birdie will always be the exception to my rules.

Every time that I need to leave my house, whether it's for work or something else, I'm always so eager to return. A huge deal, if you consider that I've never been able to consider my house an actual home. Tonight, however, the need to be with her is almost physical. It doesn't even matter the other things I still need to do before finally spending time with her; I'd go through hell and back to have her in my arms.

In some ways, that's exactly what I do every day. I go through hell before she even wakes up, so when she's in my arms, we can be safe together.

Parking my car in the garage, I take a deep breath before stepping out of it and taking the elevator that leads to the foyer. As the metal door opens, the air is filled with the smell of my favorite scented candles, but I'm in such a sour mood, not even the familiar smell manages to make me feel better.