ambit. [hs au]

Chapter 26

A/N: This is part of a double update!

Make sure you've read ** CHAPTER 25 ** before you start this one!

***

Trigger Warning:

If you came this far in this book, you probably already know that, but I feel like I should warn some of you anyways! In this book, besides all the gory violence, drugs, sex, etc, there's also another delicate subject, which is self-depreciation and body-shaming of a character who clearly has a twisted perception about herself and is not kind with the words she uses to describe how she feels about her own body.

Birdie is a character who hides her pain in self-depreciative jokes and has a dark sense of humor, making fun of herself with harsh words that sometimes might trigger a sensitive reader.

I put a lot of myself in her, and maybe that's why I have so much fun writing Ambit, but I get that the way I choose to deal with my insecurities and struggles for not having what people call a "hot" or "standard" body might not be for everyone.

I'm in no way trying to fat-shame my own character, or anyone else for that matter. On the contrary, really - my idea with Ambit is to write about a RELATABLE character, someone who struggles with their body image, not because they're not healthy or ugly, but simply because they don't fit a self-imposed pattern.

We're all beautiful, no matter what type of body we have, and even though it gets hard sometimes, because it's so fucking difficult to ignore the society's imposed shoulds and coulds.

As always, my DMs are open for anyone who needs to talk. Love you all <3

***

"Hey," He mumbles with his lips pressed against my skin, the growing beard in his face pricking my jawline. "You okay?"

"Mmyeah," My voice sounds muffled, laced with laziness. "M'Fine."

Harry hums, pulling his face from the crook of my neck where he has been nested for the past 10 minutes or so, his body still perched above mine. He looks down at me with half-closed sparkling eyes. "Am I crushing you?"

"No," I shake my head lazily, still lost in the post-fuck haze, my hands going up and down on the exposed skin of his back. "I like the pressure."

He smirks, puffing a bit of air against my neck as he lays down again, but the next second, we both hear a loud rumbling sound that literally echoes in the room, coming none less than from my fucking stomach.

Oh, for fucks sake.

Harry chuckles, pulling away from my neck again, this time also rolling from above my body to the carpeted floor right next to me.

"Come on," He speaks softly, getting onto his knees and extending his hand to me. "Let's eat something."

Grabbing his hand, I let him help me sit up on the floor, glad I'm still wearing a bra, otherwise my boobs would be wiggling all over the place. My free hand flies to a cushion over the couch and I bring it to my lap, trying to be discreet about the fact I'm using it to cover the rolls in my stomach, now hyper-aware of the fact I'm actually naked in front of a guy who looks like someone who has been hand-carved by fucking Michelangelo himself.

Which wouldn't be a problem, if I didn't look like, you know, a big loaf of unbaked bread.

His eyes fall from my face to the cushion I'm firmly holding in front of my belly, and something goes sour in his expression, his lips pressing to a thin line, which makes my heart positively stop beating as realization hits me. Of course; now that he has come and the haziness of having all his blood concentrated on his lower half has dissipated, he is coming back to his senses and comprehending where he just stuck his dick into.