ambit. [hs au]

Chapter 62

A/N: This is part of a double update. Make sure you read chapter 61 before this one <3

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Google is the writer's best friend.

When you're writing a book, it doesn't matter if it's fiction or factual, one thing is certain; you're going to research a lot. In fact, sometimes looking at a writer's browsing history might be just as interesting as reading the finished book itself. There are definitely some weird things that we just need to make sure are right before adding to our stories.

For instance, while I was writing New York Fairy Tales, which was mainly a fantasy brought to a modern, real-life context, I had to research all kinds of stuff, from stages of puberty to the rental price rates of Manhattan, even though I never intended on moving there. But my character did, so I had to make sure I wasn't writing something completely unrealistic.

Even though, you know, I was writing about fairies.

The thing is, as a writer, I'm always browsing Google. It's a reliable source of information, if you know what you want and how to look for stuff. It has helped me hundreds of times before and it will probably help a million times more.

But right now, I feel like my digital best friend just betrayed me, big time.

Out of everything I expected to pop into the screen when I first typed my symptoms, this was the last possibility in my mind. Everything else had crossed my thoughts - some kind of thyroid disorder, food poisoning, diabetes, anemia, even depression went through my head, even though I've always kinda known what the compound of what I've been feeling usually meant. Not my first rodeo, but I guess I was just in denial.

I mean, with everything that's going on in my life, I've been extremely stressed, not to mention I'm The Worst (with capital letters) at maintaining a healthy diet. I'm all about skipping lunch because I drank too much coffee and having popcorn for dinner; that's my fucking jam ever since the first time I left my parents' house for college. So suffering from the lack of some vital nutrient shouldn't be completely off the table.

Plus, I've been taking the pill for over a month now. Religiously. And it's not like my body enjoys the idea of being a host in the first place.

However, after hours of research, I was forced to accept the possibility, which led to three different kinds of meltdowns before I finally had the guts to call Sadie, sounding so high-pitched, to this moment I'm impressed she even managed to understand me. For a hot minute I was convinced only bats and dogs could catch my frequency.

She did manage to hear me, though, and being the saint she is, she was knocking on Harry's front door 20 minutes later, with a drugstore package in tow and lacking the usual large smile that I love so much.

We went straight to the downstairs washroom, closing the door and locking ourselves inside the tiny space, barely exchanging a word before I was pulling my knickers down and peeing on that freaking stick.

In my life, I've taken more pregnancy tests than I can count, but it was never like this one. I was shaking from head to toe, a different kind of adrenaline pumping through my veins. Instead of excitement, all I felt was fear. Every other time I took a test, I was nervous, but only because I was afraid of it turning negative. I've always wanted to be a Mom so badly, it never crossed my mind I could feel anything other than pure joy at the possibility of it finally happening.

But the moment the second line appeared, as clear as the day, all the air was kicked out of my lungs, a wave of panic washing me down so strongly, for a moment I thought I'd pass out.