Of Phantoms and Thieves

Rabbit Hole

Ren opened his eyes to empty space, a black completely surrounding him. There seemed to be two sides to everything: a floor, a ceiling, walls on all sides. Two hands, two feet, his body still intact. Yet he was unable to move freely. Ren felt restrained, entagled by something that was not visible. Something nonexistent, which was only occupying the space in his mind. Every breath, every second made his heart beat faster, the blood rushing to his head...

It was that same feeling he'd had before. The one that made him want to run away. The one he'd felt at the palace. The one in Shibuya Crossing. A feeling of total awareness, but abscense of control. A feeling of pain and madness, but a state of mind where he no longer needed to think.

No need to think... Ren longed for it yet shunned it. The feeling gave him freedom, and let him rip loose. It let him be himself for once. He'd felt it all the way back in that first palace.

Chaos and order. Both coexisting at the brink, barely overlapping each other. Ren had felt it in Mementos, in those palaces. He knew it all too well. The hardships, the suffering, the loss.

What it felt like to be Joker.

The pain had now manifested itself in Ren as well. The trials that had awaited Joker now affected the one behind the mask. And this time, all he could do was watch as the world around him collapsed on itself.

"Why do you push it aside?" a quiet voice inquired.

Ren looked up to see himself, Joker staring down at him.

"Why do you not accept yourself anymore?"

Ren opened his mouth to speak but no words came. Joker shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced to the side.

"Ren and Joker are the same person. It doesn't matter which you prefer, they are both still you. The things you did as Ren are the things you did as Joker. That also applies vice versa. Ren witnessed the people who Joker witnessed die. Joker did the same. No matter what, you should accept that. Those people didn't die because of you, they died for you."

Joker turned to Ren and softly smiled. "And I know you would have done the same. So, still push yourself to believe. Continue trying to be there for them. But keep in mind, you can't protect everyone from their fates. Everyone needs trials to learn and grow, even you.

"I hope you see this as a learning opportunity. You can't always jump in and help. Sometimes you must watch those you love most face their challenges all alone. Just let them know that you love and support them for their decisions, just as they have done for you."

"Who are you?" Ren asked.

Joker put a finger to his own lips and smirked.

"Don't worry about that, you'll know soon enough. Just remember, without strong winds a tree never becomes sturdy. Build that faith in your friends before you topple."

Joker turned and walked into the dark.

"Quite a long way you've come down the rabbit hole," a deep voice stated in Ren's mind. "How about we end this predicament?"