Unhinged √

24.

      I return home feeling like I got mauled by a truck. Pokello had promised to call me when I dropped her off and that just gave me something to dread. Travis's car is in the garage but what draws my attention is the BMW in the driveway with the driver still in it that fills me with a new sense of dread.

The house is quiet when I walk in but my eyes immediately find Travis at the counter separating the kitchen from the living room. There is a bottle of wine beside him and a half filled glass. He look from me to the living room where my mother is sat with demeaning eyes set on him, it's almost like she didn't hear me come in.

"Hi mom". I break her out of her trance and she plasters on that fake smile that she reserves for me. It's so bright you'd think she is happy to see me.

"Jacobson. You look well". Travis scoff from the counter and I squeeze my tired eyes shut to avoid sighing.

"You didn't tell me you were coming".

"Of course I did, it's in the email I sent you".

"Okay. I can't deal with this". Travis announces and disappears into the chill room.

"Why are you still with that rude boy?" Not this again.
My mother doesn't approve of Travis which is okay since she barely approves of me.

When the rumors of me being gay got out, she debunked every one with a pretty smile and a silent threat to sue everyone who dared call her perfect baby something so acrid;  I had to look up the word.

Sarah Levinson has always been about poise and colors, she definitely would have done better in the era of ballgowns and affluence, of galas and status quo not in this era of freedom and nonchalance. My mother cares a lot, about public opinion and reputation, it's why she was at a loss for ideas when I confirmed to her that I had been seeing Travis.

She didn't know how to accept that and she didn't want to be the mother that sent her only son to conversion therapy so she acted like I didn't exist for an entire month, then proceeded to fix me her own way by setting me up with the daughters of all her friends but everyone knew about Travis by then and I was just entertainment to most.

"Do you really care about that?"

"Of course I do. That boy is the only setback in your life".

"That boy is the only good thing in my life that I have somehow managed to__" I can't tell her anything about my life, she doesn't care about it.

As far as she is concerned, I have been polluted by homosexuality and the only reason she hasn't written me off is because she needs me to carry on the family's name, her name.

Nobody knows my father, he was an anonymous donor, unknown so unloved, as my mother likes it.

"What do you want?" She gives me a hard stare that slowly turns into a sickly sweet smile.

"Why don't you take a seat, son?" I do as she advice because it is always best to be seated for her news.

"Your manager informed me that you concluded your football tournament two weeks ago".
Benson would have ceased to be my manager ages ago for how easily he concedes to my mother but he is good at his job and I can't blame him. Only a few people like Travis can say no to her.

"That is correct".

"Why haven't you returned home?"

"This is my home". She looks around the house and gives a short laugh.

"Oh don't be silly, Jacobson. This stable is nothing compared to what you were raised in". I was barely raised but I don't point that out.

"I am quite content with this". Her stare is hard again.