Unhinged √

12.

Heavy hearts like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.
- Chris Morley

      Hugs. They were among a few other things I liked like skateboarding, cotton candy, sappy romcoms, cuddles and forehead kisses. Things I was never going to admit to anyone but Jake knew I loved them, just as he knew almost every other single thing about me.

When I kissed him the second time, I had expected him to push me away and storm off in a fit of rage. I hadn't expected him to kiss me back even for a second, I hadn't expected him to hug me tight and let me cry unto his shoulder.

I had no idea how long we stood there with me in his arms, bawling like a child. He eventually guided us to the bed, scooted up so his back was against the wall then opened his arms for me to shuffle in and I did, shamelessly.

We stayed like that till the sky turned orange outside, with him running a finger through my hair like he sometimes did in the past, while humming a very annoying tune that eventually made me smile because it reminded me of a time when he had sworn he was into jazz and changed his ringtone everyday to a new song.

It had lasted for two weeks before he was back to Beyonce.
I let out a tiny chuckle that made him look down at me.

"I'm hilarious, I know". He said and I laughed.

"Remember when your mom caught you trying to get a picture of yourself in a bikini to send to me?" I asked and he frowned.

"Still the most awkward moment of my life".

"I bet she thought you was hilarious".

"Yeah, she laughed so hard she didn't realize when she dialed the therapist".
I was the one laughing hard now while Jake tried to hide a smile.

"Why did you even have a bikini?"

"Zayn got it for me".

"Why would Zayn get you a bikini?"

"It's just something we do, we get each other silly gifts for our birthdays".

I used to be so envious of their friendship, it always seemed like Jake would do anything for his best friend.
Jake removed his arms from around me and I sat up to face him.

"Travis, we can't be like this". He said quietly and I nodded.

"The kiss, you can't keep using me like this. I can't do this hot and cold anymore, I can't be your secret".

"I know". I ran my hands through my face to avoid looking at him for two seconds.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just, I'm messed up".
He looked up at me expectantly and I sighed.

"I saw my father". He took a while to come to it but when he did, he scooted closer to me.

"Travis, oh my God. Where?"

"He owns the garage". His mouth hung open for a while.

"That's messed up". He finally said and I laughed.
Jake knew about my father, how he had left six children without batting and eye, with no warning and definitely, without a cent. I hated the man, Jake knew this too.