Unhinged √

11.

Meghan Christina Summers.
      She was different, I knew that from the first day I saw her, in my backyard scoring hoops with Pokello. My sister always talked about her, she was her first friend in high school and she won Kello's heart with basketball.

I don't know what I had been expecting her to be like but it wasn't a petite girl with maroon hair and inquisitive eyes. Then she spoke and I was impressed, mostly because she wasn't aiming to impress. Meghan was blunt, sometimes to a fault but it was one of the things I liked the most about her.

She was daring and free and made Pokello feel like she belonged. Growing up with five boys and no parents, my sister a bit of anxiety issues because no matter how hard we tried, there were still some needs she had that we couldn't meet but Meghan met them and my brothers all loved her for it.

    It was no secret that I admired Meghan's rawness, everyone did and I respected her a lot but I never thought of her as more than my little sister's best friend. That was before I started getting the looks, the one my friends gave me when they talked about their girls and I stayed quiet.

The one they'd let slip when I walked into the men's room the same time as them. It was all before they started with the not so funny jokes.
"Yo Travis, you sure Junior's working?"
"Have you even hit it before?"
I had but it had required a lot of liquid confidence and I couldn't remember it.

"You really don't act like a Harden, look at Ty".
My brother was a whore, keeping track of the girls he put his dick in would be harder than bricklaying. I never understood the need in having multiple sexual partners but in my hood, it was a necessity or at least, you had to have someone that everyone knew about.

"Maybe he's just not into puna".
"Damn, that'd be messed up". Kevin had grimaced.
"Faggotry is diabolic".
I was sure there wasn't a word like faggotry but that wasn't the point. The point was that they were right. It might have felt right but that didn't change the fact that it was wrong.

As my mama would say;
"Sin doesn't always feel bad, it's why it's so tempting. You just have to know to say no".
"It's diabolic". I kept telling myself.
"Unnatural"
"Mama would be disappointed".

       Then Pokello told me Meghan had a crush on me. She said it was against every 'girl code' and whatnot but she had to tell me because Meghan was the best girl out there and it'd be a shame for me to pass up on her. It was the truth, Meghan was the best girl I knew, Meghan was a girl I admired, she was a girl I respected.

Meghan was natural and I liked her. I was attracted to her, or so I told myself every morning and when she said yes, I knew it was my last chance to not be what I was tempted to be.

      Meghan wasn't sentimental and I grew to appreciate that. Then she fell in love and it wasn't with me. She fell in love with Zayn Rodriguez, Jake's bestfriend/first love. Zayn who I thought killed my brother. Zayn who I didn't really know but didn't like either.

I promised Meghan that her happiness would be mine but I scarred her for life.

***************

       I woke Tuesday morning with a hangover that rattled my brain and it didn't help that my phone wouldn't stop ringing. I finally picked it up as I tried to make coffee.
"Kazeem".
"Jesus man, why haven't you been picking up?"
"I was asleep".

"Have you seen the time? You coming to work or not?"
"Of course I am. Just tryna chase away my hangover". He sighed.
"Yeah. Saw you getting dragged out last night by pinky. Painful sight, he looked like he was gonna shit himself".

I didn't remember much about the previous night. I remembered scaring Monique off, having a mini argument with Jake and seeing green eyes hovering over me.