The Thought Of You

Chapter twelve.

In love with me? I closed my eyes shut and I saw kole, in the kitchen. Saying he loves me and he wouldn't cheat or use me. I remember this, this was a few months ago.. I found myself back in my house in the kitchen with kole. I stood up quickly and yelled at kole "you don't love me! You don't! You said it one million times before! And you cheated on me! You said I didn't love you because I didn't want to make love with you. So when I did, you went off cheating."

I ran into him and tried to stab him with the scissors in my hand. Suddenly I was caught by the waist and my hand in the air as someone tried to restrain it. I couldn't see anything, nothing at all.

I blinked my eyes a couple of times, and here I was back in Val's room. Wrapped in Val's arm as I tried to stab him. Soon as I noticed he wasn't kole I dropped the scissors and I gasped in fear. What am I doing. Val looked at me concerned. "I never told you I was i loved you, I said I'm in love with you." Val said trying to get answers out of my body language. I was shaking like a cold soaked puppy.

"Do I remind you of kole?" Val asked as softly as he could. I instantly shock my head no, I didn't want him hurting me, "please don't hurt me" I trembled. I stood their frozen in fear. "I would never hurt you." Kole voice started to tremble as if he was about to break down crying too. "You always say that kole..." "Kole...kole?" Val cried. I suddenly didn't here kole's voice anymore, only Val's.

Val dropped to the ground and started crying. Covering his eyes with his knees as he scratched his head. I looked at Val for a while confused, but I finally realized he was crying. I bent down to kole- I mean Val. I rubbed the back of his neck as I hugged him asking him what's wrong. Val froze, he froze even his breathing.

"You...you, you don't remember?" Val sniffed. I shrugged my shoulders and let out a giggle as I rolled my eyes "remember what, Val" I questioned. What is he talking about. Val looked up at me with his red teary eye's. "What's the last thing you remember?" Val looked dedicated to find my answer. Well I mean I just got here and Val was naked and jumped out the bed, then before I walked out.... Um, before I walked out... "I remember you jumping up to make me stay here as I... I.. I thought I walked out the door."

Val looked shocked to my answer, why is he acting so weird? Val looked me in the eyes once more for an answer, "has kole, ever physically abuse you? " Val asked. Ugh is this a joke? Why is he asking this, I don't know if he's calling me dumb or something or he actually wants to know. "That's nothing to joke about Val, nothing."I argued. "No.. it's not."

Val looked as if he was about to puke. I came here to collect him for the dinner later and he's playing mind games on me. I tried to proceed to get up from the ground "Alex, wait. Have I  ever hurt you?.." Val asked. Where is he getting this from? "No? You never hurt me physically. The only time I felt hurt was about... About last night. And I don't want to get into that right now." I explained. Val looked up at me as if he known I lost my mind. I'm lost. What happened, I know I black out sometimes but how? Did I miss this much.

"The last thing that happened was that you called me kole and before that you tried to stab me because you thought I was kole. And that was right after I said Im in love with you.." Val trailed off. He's in love with me. The thought of this made my heart pound. Val looked confused, I was sure confused but I didn't want to do anything but kiss him. I bended back down and I took Val's and pressed them against mine.

Val tried to push me away but I went in for another kiss, a tounge kiss. I shoved my tongue down his throat and then he shoved his tounge down mine. Finally he pulled away, his face looked as what it looked like before, but he had grown a smile but then it vanished.

"Did he abuse you." Val stared at me and said. He wants an answer, the look in his eyes says it all. I mummbled yes to Val. Val eyes shot open and he suddenly had an expression on his face that said he was sad but angry at the same time. Im done seeing Val like this.

I stood from the ground and started to search for my phone and my purse. " Val I don't know what's wrong with you but--" I said before Val cut me off. "What's wrong with me? I told you I'm in love with you and then you lash out on me as if I was kole. Let's not get started how scared you looked, and then you suddenly don't remember the last few conversations we had? You blacked out and didn't remember the last thirty minutes." Val said. What is he on about? "And then you had said I didn't believed you loved me because you wouldn't give your virginity to me? You gave your virginity to kole.. Not me," Val added.

I started to remember what happened after that conversation with kole. My breathe started to quicken, I felt the panic. It coming back to life. That night kole had slapped me do hard I fell to the ground, he started to cut my  clothes of my body. The knife went into my skin in the process. He kept accusing me of cheating on him as he slit my clothes and skin open with the knife. It needs to stop, I can't stop.. I need to stop thinking of this.. the more I thought about it the more I felt like my clothes and skin was being slit open. Val looked up to the ground and looked at me. I couldn't take this anymore it needs to stop. Suddenly I thought popped up in my head. So I did the first thing I thought of doing.. because kole has done it to me before.

Choke me out until I'm unconscious.

I quickly wrapped my hands around my neck and started squeezing it. "What the hell are you doing!" Val yelled.i started to press harder. Val rose from the ground and tried the unleash my hands from me neck. The tighter I pressed the more that he pulled.

"Stop! Fucking stop! Alex!" Val yelled as he tried to get me to let go. As I said again Val is a lion compared to me, he instantly ripped my hands off of my neck when I started to lose my strength."Val stop!" I cried. Val restrained my hands from my neck and held them in a way I couldn't move them. " Fuck no! You trying to suffocate yourself!" Val yelled back at me.

The thoughts of kole kept pounding in my head. I couldn't do any to stop them. I yelled from the top of my lungs in pain, to over power my thoughts. "What the fuck is wrong with you!" Val yelled to get my attention. I was sweating as if I was running for hours my eyes had gotten heaver, I felt like dying. I looked up at Val to answer his question

"I-- I remember what kole did to me.. It's replaying in my head!" I yelled in pain Val looked frozen, once again. "I can see it! I can feel it...Let me! Please.. I don't want to think anymore..." I cried in annoy. Val did the first thing that came to his mind. He kissed me.

Val lips only has you wanting more. The thought of kole Slowly started to slip away. My body muscles finally felt relaxed. When Val noticed, he pulled away. I wanted gazed at his lips as I wondered how where they so perfect. I looked up at Val and he gazed in my eye's, what seems like he was for a long time.

"Look around, name three things you see," Val said still gazing in my eye's. I slowly took my eyes off his and looked around "the window... your bed--" I said before Val cut me off "our" I paused and looked back at Val confused. He keeps going on about our. "Our?" I asked confused. Val nodded his head "you said my bed. It's ours, everything here is yours also" Val explained.

I didn't pay for anything here... I'm just living here, only for a few more weeks. I guess he just wants me to feel at home. Val interrupted my thoughts "go on, the window, our bed, one more thing okay?" Val told me. I tore my eyes away from his and looked down. I laughed as I looked back up at him. "The Mario bros blanket you use to cover your nude body" I laugh. Val perfectly soft cheeks started to turn cherry red as he smiled cheek to cheek. "Hey! I lived off Mario Bros okay, don't bully me" Val laughed.

Val looked back into my eyes "the window, our bed, and my not to mention sexy but naked body wrapped in our Mario Bros blanket." Val said as the door caved in. I screamed from the top of my lungs because the door hadn't caved in, it was kicked in. Val quickly grabbed me and held me as tight as he could. Kole busted in the door his face was red and filled with anger. "What the fuck are you doing with my girlfriend Val!"