Finally yours.

Chapter twenty - two

Thursday 8th of October
Tommy and Will stayed over that night and left early morning.

The week turned into a routine for me, wake up, get somethjng to eat then I would go back to laying in bed. Sometimes I cried, sometimes I resulted to the one way I found sanctuary.

I knew Jack was here for me, but I didn't want to rely on someone to keep me in check. I couldn't bother him more than I have with my moods constantly switching from Sad to angry.

I stood in front of the portrait that mirror hanging on my door, pin pointing my faults and imperfections.

Tears slowly soaked my cheek, and before I knew it my hand collided with the mirror shattering it, like I had done my phone a few nights prior.

Checking the small cabinet for bandages and the alcohol to clean my cut, I sighed having none left.

A soft voice called from the other side of my bedroom door. I had assumed it was locked because it always was but Jack somehow found his way in.

"Y/n?" Jack asked panicked rushing into my bathroom. "I'm fine I'm fine, sorry" I muttered, "c'mon" he said glancing at my bloody, shard stained hand.

He left the room, demanding I came with him. "We're going to the hospital to get that properly cleaned" He said in the car.

"I don't need medical attention" I didn't make eye contact out of pure embarrassment. I found myself being taken care off my Jack once again.

"Have you seen your hand?" He shot back "It'll be fine" I grumbled, "Y/n there's literal pieces of a mirror in your hand" He sighed glancing at me.

"Y/n, look, I get what the guys did to you, wasn't ideal and was messed up..But you can't mope about all day, everyday" The older boy said.

"You can't let it destroy your life, maybe think about streaming tonight.." He stopped the car, seen as we were outside of the hospital getting out and hugging me while he could.

"Everything is going to be ok.." Jack trailed off unsurely.
———

We had just left the hospital, they stitched my hand and wrapped it in a bandage. There wasn't more they could do, I do have to admit it hurt like a bitch trying to get the shards of mirror out.

"Jack, I'm sorry" I breathed out "for?" He watched the road "being so, not me. Jesus, I've been a bad friend, a really bad one" I admitted "Yeah you'av" he chuckled "I'm really sorry.." my guilt ridden voice croaked "I appreciate that, your forgiven just, please stream tonight, Tommy will be on..you can stream with him" He heisted saying, i smiled and agreed.

"I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna face reveal" he choked on air as I said that. Must've shocked him.

"Ok..Sorry that's a shock, don't feel forced too.." he was at a lost for words and I laughed.

It began to feel normal?.

I was tired of hurting, tired of feeling and tired of being sad.

I'll see George when I see him, but for now I'm working on me.

It's about time I did a face reveal anyways.

Lost deep in thought Jack shook me out of it to tell me we were home.

For the first time walking through this house, it felt like home. For the first time I turned on my phone, worried messages from the group chat 'feral boys + Y/n' and many individual messages that I wasn't ready to answer.

Switching to Twitter, to make a reappearance for being gone for so long, I tweeted:

Y/n @U/u/n
Hey guys, sorry for the lack of streams and content, I had some stuff to go through and wasn't capable emotionally of streaming. I'm doing much better now, thank you for the kind messages, streaming tonight. I love you all <3.

My tweet song gained a lot of attention, which came with loads of love and support. The fans were majority under appreciated, I scrolled and liked some of the replied that warmed my heart to how understanding they were.

I seen that Nick instantly messaged me on Twitter, but like I said, that was a bridge I wasn't ready to cross.

Wether when it came to that it would mean I had to say goodbye to them. I don't know but it hurt my brain to think about..

Techno
You
Hey

Techno
Hey how are you? I was worried ya know.

Incoming call techno
"So your alive?" He chuckled relieved "I am yeah," I laughed back.

"How are you.." I was nervous pressing accept, I had assumed techno would've hated me, seen as he fell into the pile of people I wasn't answering.

But he didn't, he was much softer off stream.

"I..I'm good.." I held my breathe waiting for him to get angry at me, for well, being a self-centred dickhead toward him. Yet he didn't.

"I'm glad,-" and as if he could see right through me, he let me breath, he removed the high amounts of anxiety I was feeling right now
"Y/n, I'm not mad at you..I was just worried you can talk to me.." Techno, he deserves so much, "Oh thank god.." I forced a laugh, happy. I was happy.

Like that, the conversation flowed easily, he told me about his brother, wanting to dye his hair, I told him about a new show I started, we reminisced on things we did when we were young. It was a nice conversation.

"I heard your streaming, mind if I join? I haven't exactly gave anyone content recently, and I want attention" He laughed "Yeah, speaking of stream, I should probably set up, call you on discord?" He hummed in agreement and we ended the call.

Y/n @U/u/n
I'm back people, come you'll wanna be here @https://twitch.tv/@U/u/n

Techno and Tommy were arguing in a call, while I did my intro, or anticipated it.

I wasn't as nervous as I should've been doing a face reveal. I was still Eighteen, still an anxious teenager wanting to fit the expectations society Wanted from me.

Just my concepts changed, I looked at it differently.

"Woo, alright chat.." I let out an airy laugh.

"It's about time, I did this anyways" adjusting the face time, I removed my starting soon screen, revealing to everyone, who I was.

It was impulsive yeah, but it was time.

"So what are we thinking?" Most of chat was positive, a few hateful comments, I wasn't that bothered about it. "Dreamsmp?" I questioned not waiting for an answer I logged on. Thankfully nobody was on other than Techno and Tommy.

"The fuck?" Tommy coughed through his mic "You didn't say shit about a face reveal" He said dumbfounded. "It was time, it felt right"

A/n
Sorry about not posting lately, haven't been well at all, still not feeling great but I'll try to post another soon <3

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