This Can't Be Real

Chapter 21

"Leigh," Joe says quickly. He's kneeling down in front of me with one hand on my cheek and the other on my thigh. "Leigh, speak to me."

I stay silent but blink a few times as I try to register what's just been revealed to me. Thom was the guy that tried to rape me and he is also the same guy that crashed into me. I don't . . . I don't know how to feel about that. I don't know what to feel about that.

I'm scared for myself but at the same time, I'm scared for Jess. I don't know why she doesn't realise it's him. The way he's acted around me should be a clear give-away that there's something not right there. I mean, if he's capable of doing those things to me, who's to say he hasn't done this to others and who's to say he won't do that to Jess.

My eyes focus on Joe's face quickly and my hands grip onto his arms.

"She won't listen, Leigh. Trust me, she won't. No matter what it is we say, she just won't listen to either of us. You saw what she was like when you spoke your mind about Thom. She doesn't want to listen to anything we have to say in regards to him."

"But she-"

"Leigh." Joe pulls lightly on my upper arms but I stay still. I don't want to move. I don't think I even could move if I wanted to do so. "Leigh, I think we should go. We shouldn't be doing this here."

"We-"

"Leigh, let's go."

I let Joe pull me to my feet and he holds me to him till we get back to the car. He helps me get in the car and puts my seatbelt on. His right hands stays on the headrest while his other hand grips the top of the opened door. He breathes deeply for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry," he apologises on an outtake of breath.

I stay quiet.

"I just . . . I just didn't want you to find out like that."

"I had to find out somehow," I whisper after a few moments.

"I know but not like that. I should have told you in private and before now. I should have told you when you asked about Thom. I should have put two and two together when it came to seeing Thom for the first time. I should have just-"

"Joe, shut up."

"Leigh," he sighs. He straightens up and his left hand falls onto my thigh.

"Joe, just shut up." I grip his hand with mine and squeeze it till he lowers to look at me at eye level. He blinks. "Just shut up." I swallow away the lump in my throat and breathe deeply. "Can we just go?"

His eyes scan my face before he nods. "If that's what you want, sure."

"Thank you."

I let go of his hand and he moves away from me, closing the door so we can go.

* * *

The rain drops are falling down the window one by one this morning. I've been standing by the French doors in the living room since I got up at seven this morning. I didn't know what else to do other than come down here while everyone else in the house sleeps.

After arriving back here yesterday, I kept to myself. I stayed away from Joe, his parents, and even Zachary. I just wanted time to myself to try and get everything right in my head before I even began to talk about it.

Unfortunately, the only thing I have gotten right is the fact that I'm going to find it tough seeing Jess after finding out what I now know. I don't know what's going to happen with her and I don't want this one thing to come between us. She's been like a rock for me. She's been helping me make sense of things and I don't want to lose her over this one stupid thing.