This Can't Be Real

Chapter 5

“It'll be too soon.” Jess's voice echoes out to me from the kitchen the next morning. I stop walking and just stand by the slightly closed kitchen door. She can't see me and judging by the bite in her tone of voice, I know she's on the phone to someone. “Don't even play that card with me. We both know it'll be too soon for that, so why are you pushing for it?”

There's a long pause and I can hear Jess sigh loudly. I have the perfect picture of her painted out in my head right now: leaning against one of the kitchen counters, phone to ear, and her head shaking at the person on the other end of the phone. She's basically pissed off at them.

“I don't think so . . . Indeed you will not . . . Are you trying to blackmail me?  . . . Face it, it's not going to happen on your terms . . . Because it's going to happen on her terms. End of conversation!”

The phone is slammed down on the kitchen counter, making me jump a little and shake my head at the loudness of the action. I know when she gets angry and pissed off, she really gets angry and pissed off. This isn't as bad as it can get though. It can get worse.

I've seen it get worse.

Taking my sudden bravery in my stride, I enter the kitchen and my eyes fall immediately to Jess. She's gripping the edge of the counter with both hands and shaking her head frantically.

“Not having a good morning?” I ask despite already knowing the correct answer to it.

She looks over at me and groans. “My morning could be better.”

I nod with my lips pressed tightly together and walk over to stand across from her. I copy her posture and lean back against the counter while my arms folding over my chest. “I want to go and see him, Jess.”

Her eyes shoot to me and I can see the look that's plastered over her face. It's full of both worry and concern, but there's not need to be either of those. It's my choice. I want to do this. I have to do this.

“You said so yesterday, I need to ask him everything else if I want to somehow get my memories back. I can't just rely on you to tell me everything that's happened. I need other people too.”

“Leigh, I have just told him I am not going to take you to see him today. It's too soon and to be frank, I don't think it'd be the best idea.”

“That's the thing though.” I push myself off the counter and shrug. “I want to go and do this. No one is forcing me to do this, I want to do it for myself. No one else other than me.”

She blinks frantically at me as we enter a stare off. It's like she's testing me to see if I'll back down from this choice, but I'm not going to do so. It's my decision and I'm sticking with it. Like it or lump it.

“Fine,” She groans in frustration. “But don't say I didn't warn you.”

I flash her an innocent smile and leave her to call Joe back to explain the new arrangement for today.

I'd say I'm surprised that Joe agreed to the new change of plan quickly, but I'm not. I somehow knew he was waiting on my answer and not just what Jess was telling him.

Throughout the entire car journey to the house I'm said to share with Joe, my nerves began to surface. My hands began to fiddle about with the bottom of my white printed top and I swear I could actually feel the sweat form on my hands.

I don't know what the scene will be like when I get to the house, but I know it'll be something I'm not used to seeing. I know it'll be like from a movie where the house will be big, a row of flashy cars in the driveway, and with every room I enter, there will be pictures from events and things I don't remember.