I don't know how me and Tyson got to this point, I mean for the first few years of our marriage things were.... intense. Intense in the best possible way; I mean there wasn't a room in the house we didn't fuck; like we could be in the laundry room and next thing I knew Tyson was bent over the washer taking all ten point five. There would be times when I would be coming from practice and Tyson would be waiting for me and we literally couldn't wait until we got home...... It wasn't about sex either, like there was a time we could talk about anything and now it just felt like we were fighting to make conversation; the communication was lacking, the passion wasn't there, and I felt like we were growing apart. Maybe that's why Tyson was so threatened by Tolou.... maybe he saw that when I spoke with Tolou there was always a smile on my face, we laughed, joked, and we could talk about ALMOST anything. But the thing is there weren't any romantic feelings between me and Tolou.... whenever we hung out his dude was always with us and his husband Urique..... man his dude was the coolest dude I had ever met, they were just free and so much in love and I missed that feeling with Tyson.
"So it's like damn.... what's going on with us, I've tried talking to him, I suggested counseling, I've tried everything I could possibly think of, and Tyson just.... he downplays the problem as if I'm overreacting. And don't even get me started on the whole surrogate thing..... I grew up the youngest of seven kids, I was always around siblings. I look at my baby and I can tell he's lonely... Ala'ven has a bunch of friends, a gang of cousins but....... I know he wants someone that he can bond with..... Tyson is even against adoption." I said looking at Izayah.
"Damn bro... you know you could've been called me and let me know what you're going through." Izayah said.
"I know man but talking about it.... saying out loud makes it more real and it makes it sound worse than what it really is." I said and even that wasn't true, I was trying to downplay the situation and protect Tyson when the truth of the matter is that it was worse than even I could explain.
"Sev who do you think you're talking to? I've known you damn it seems like forever..... you and Tyson were my goals in high school.... the love y'all had for each other was EPIC, through all the drama, other relationships.... y'all always found y'alls way back to each other and now.... now I wouldn't wish y'alls relationship on my worst enemy." Izayah said.
"Come on it's not that bad.... we're just going through the normal stall in the relationship that most people go through.... it could be a lot worse." I said waving him off.
"You're right there are worse relationships, what you and Tyson have couldn't even be called a relationship.... keep it real with me bro, do you think Tyson is cheating?" Izayah asked and there was a point where that thought did cross my mind but if I was being completely honest with myself... nah I didn't think that he was. "Cheating doesn't have to be physical.... it doesn't even have to be with another person honestly. Like, take me and Jackson for example...."
"What? I thought you and Jackson are doing fine?" I asked looking at him.
"Oh we're good.... but there was a time when I felt like Jack was putting his work before me, like he loves his job and I know it makes him happy but there was a point in our relationship when he loved his job TOO much, so much that it was affecting our relationship. It took some work but we finally found a balance between the two.... maybe Tyson is more in love with his job than he is with you at this point." Izayah said.
"I mean that's possible but that doesn't explain all the other shyt.... I can see how having a new kid would affect his job and everything but that doesn't explain the jealousy, the lack of communication, the lack of intimacy." I said looking at him.
"Well I got three options that you need to consider and knowing you, you probably won't like any of them... the first is opening your marriage. i think maybe the lack of intimacy can be attributed to the fact that y'all have been together for so long that, things have gotten boring for Tyson and maybe if y'all go out and fuck other people it'll provide the spark that y'all need to get back to where y'all were. Option two... again therapy, I know Tyson isn't with that shyt but you need to let him know either y'all go to therapy or.... and the or leads me to options three. The final option is maybe y'all need a break... I'm not saying the 'd' word but a separation might be good for y'all.... honestly they all kinda tie together now that I think about it." Izayah said and I was wondering if maybe he had taken a serious blow to the head.
