Out Of Our Control (High School Shoey)

Ch 42- He's Dead

6:13 A.M.

 “Joey?” Shane asks while turn on the lamp. I can hear the worry showing up in his voice. “Are you okay?” I don’t answer him. I just hop out of bed and immediately wrap my arms around his neck.

 “Why are you breathing so hard?” I ask him, his shoulder muffling my question.

 “I’m not.” He replies.

 “Then…then who is?” both of us slowly turn around to see a lump under the blanket in my bed. It looks like someone is sleeping. I can see the rise and fall of their chest below the duvet. “Oh my god.” I squeak out. I take one step back and bump into Shane. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls my shaking body out of the room.

 “What the hell was that?” Shane asks as we run out of the house and to my mom’s car. I am so glad that they chose this week to go visit our family in Boston for a few days. I don’t know what I would do if all of us were stuck in the house with that…thing.

 “I don’t know and I’d prefer to keep it that way.” I say as I slide into the passenger seat and wrap myself in the throw blanket that I snatched off the couch before exiting the house.

 “Are you okay?” Shane asks me, placing a hand on my leg.

 “No.” I say, staring out the window as one hot tear slides down my cheek.

 “Is there anything I can do?”

 “Just get me the hell away from here.” Neither of us exchange anymore spoken words after he does as I requested and drives down the road. Away from here. Away from that monster. Away from my home.

 ~

 “Are you sure you’re going to be fine here?” Shane asks me as I get out the car.

 “I’ll be fine. Just go check up on your dad. He needs you more than I need you right now.”

 “I can stay if you want me to.” He urges.

 “Baby, stop worrying about me. I will be fine. It’s just a couple hours. Afterwards, you can come and pick me up so we can go to school.”

 “You wanna go to school 3 hours late?”

 “It’s better than not showing up at all.”

 “Okay.” he chuckles. “See you in a little bit, Jay.”

 “Okay. Bye-bye, Shaney.” He gives me a quick goodbye kiss before taking off down the street. I walk up the porch steps and knock on the door, waiting for someone to answer. No one comes to the door. My phone goes off, indicating I have a new text message.

 From: Soy Sauce ;)

 Soy Sauce ;): Is that u at the door?

Me: Yeah. Lemme in plz

Soy Sauce ;) : the door is open.

 I push open the door and enter the living room, immediately walking up the stairs and into Sawyer’s room.

 “What’s wrong with you?” he asks, not even taking his attention off of the TV.

 “That’s not how you’re supposed to comfort someone, asshole!” I snap, shoving him as I plop next to him on the bed.

 “What? You want an apology?”

 “Of course.”

 “An apology is only egotism wrong side out.”

 “So you're calling me egotistic?”

 “You said it not me.”

 “F*ck you!” I exclaim while hitting him with a pillow. “I came here for comfort, not to be bashed on. Sorry if I’m too egotistic for you.”

 “You will be always too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you’ll lose your edge.  Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone. But don't apologize for being who you are.”

 “That’s the Sawyer I was looking for.” I lay my head on his chest and wrap my arms around his waist.

 “Now do you want to tell me why you came in my room looking like you just saw a ghost?” he asks, gently running his hand up and down my back.

 “I don’t want to talk about it.” I mumble into his chest. “I just want to forget about her.”

 “About her? It’s a person? Who’s bothering you?”

 “I don’t know. I’m not even sure if it’s an actual person. She looks like a monster. She’s still at my house.”

 “SHE WAS IN YOUR HOUSE? AND SHE’S STILL THERE?”

 “Yeah. Don’t w—”

 “I’mma deal wit this bitch.” He says, getting out of the bed. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

 “No don’t leave me.” I say, grabbing his hand. “Stay with me. Please.” He looks back at me with a thoughtful expression on his face for a moment before giving up and climbing back into the bed next to me.

 “Fine.” He sighs. “I won’t go.”

 “Thank you.” I whisper, running my fingers across his jawline while placing my free hand on his chest. I can see the anger building up in his eyes, but he lets it out through tears. Lux and Tenebris has been teaching us how to contain our deadly "sins". Since Sawyer has anger, he’s learned that crying is an easier way to express his feelings instead of violence. He takes my hand in his and pulls it off his face as one hot tear slides down his cheek.

 “Why do you always do this to me, Joey? Why do you always toy with my feelings? Do you want Shane or me? You can’t have us both and you know that.”

 “I want you.” I whisper, leaning closer to his face. “But I need Shane. Do you think we can compromise?”

 “I’m not sure about this…”

 “Well how about now?” I lean in closer to his face until the space between us is replaced by our lips connecting. He lets go of my hand to get a grip on my shirt collar as my hands travel down to his back pockets. We pull away for a second to quickly take off our shirts before I immediately slam my lips back onto his.

 “Wait.” He says, pulling away. “You don’t really want me. You’re letting lust take control of you again.”

 “No I’m not. This isn’t lust. This is love.”

 “Love?”

 “Yeah. I think I love you.”

 “I…I think I love you, too.” A smile forms on my lips before he kisses me again. He swings his leg over to the other side of me and hovers over me. He runs his tongue over my bottom lip as I fumble with the button on his jeans.

 Ringity-ring-ring

 I pull my phone out of my pocket and press the green button without looking at the caller ID as Sawyer works at my neck.

 “Hello?” I try but fail to say without moaning.

 “Joey?” it’s Shane. Wait. Is he crying?

 “Shane? What’s wrong?”

 “It’s my dad.” He answers. “He’s...he's dead.”