Bound for Evil

Wakas

Do you believe in Karma?

Do you believe what goes around comes around? Wether it's good or bad?

Do you worry when you do something that is out of character, that you will be paid back someday, in some way, with bad karma?

Well, I didn't believe it then. I didn't believe it until it knocked on my door and slapped me right across the face. I thought life was easy. I'm popular and rich. I get what I want. Money, luxuries, parties, girls—everything. I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, and I lived my life how I wanted. A life every person in the world would gladly want to have. A typical life of a rebellious teenager who always does what he wants, whether it's good or bad, and doesn't care about its consequences.

As a teen back then, my mother always told me to let the idea of karma guide my actions. In everything that we do and put out into the world, it comes back to us. If we dedicate our lives to doing good, we will be rewarded. And if we act non-virtuously, we'll be suffering the consequences.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit kung kailan ko natanto ang mga bagay na 'yon saka nawala ang pinakamahalagang tao na naging parte ng buhay ko. I regretted it so much. Labis-labis ang pagsisisi ko noong mga sandaling 'yon. Totoo pala ang sabi nila na hindi mo makikita ang tunay na halaga ng isang bagay sa 'yo hangga't hindi ito nawawala.

If I had realized it sooner, would it change everything? I guess no. I can still hurt her in other ways. I'm a human who normally makes mistakes, and even if I'm in control of my decisions, I can't prevent things from happening. So maybe I guess it was destined to happen so that I can learn, change, and be a better person.

"Naku, maraming maraming salamat sa inyong tulong at muling pagbisita Mr. Alfaro," nagagalak na sabi ni Mother Luisa, ang head at founder ng isang orphanage dito sa QC na matagal ko nang tinutulungan.

"Wala pong anuman... basta para sa mga bata." Maliit akong ngumiti habang tinatanaw ang mga batang naglalaro sa malayo.

It saddens me to think that these kids have been abandoned, neglected, and abused by their heartless parents since birth. Hindi halata sa mga ngiti nila ang sakit at pangungulila, pero makikita mo sa mga mata nila ang labis na kalungkutan. And then I wonder, if my child was born then and had me as his father, would he feel the same thing? Would I see the same sorrow in his eyes? Maybe the answer to that is yes. Because I'm a worthless father to him.

Kaya ko rin ito ginagawa sa mga nakalipas na taon dahil kinakain ako ng guilt at regret ng nakaraan. I punished myself for what happened to him coz I knew that it was my fault. And this is the only way I know how to make it up to him.

"Pagpalain ka ng Diyos, hijo."

I snapped out, and turned to Mother Luisa. She smiled gently at me. I licked my lips, and looked down.

"Mauna na po ako, Mother. I'll visit again next time." Nag angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at marahang ngumiti.

Nakangiti siyang tumango sa akin at kinawayan ang mga bata.

"Mga bata! Hali muna kayo sandali at magpaalam sa ating bisita!" nakangiting sigaw niya.

Para namang nakarinig ng pagtawag ng meryenda ang mga ito at dali daling nagtakbuhan palapit sa kinaroroonan namin. Yumakap agad ang isang batang babae at lalaki sa magkabilang baywang ko.

"Uuwi ka na po, kuya pogi?" tanong ng batang babae na tiningala ako.

"Yes. You all behave okay?" I tapped her head gently and smiled.

Tumango siya at ngumiti.

"Magbe-behave po ako at kakain nang marami para mabilis akong lumaki."

Tumaas ang dalawang kilay ko.