Fuck It List

28: wrong timing

Also this part caused a lot of controversy like I've seen on Instagram and again I ask you to stay kind and considerate with your comments as you wait for the next parts.

"When do you think you conceived to be asking this question?", the doctor asked.

"Yesterday", you answered feeling a little embarrassed and dumb.

"Okay. Then it's too early to say whether you are pregnant or not. You can make a pregnancy test in a week or come back to make a blood test to be sure", he suggested and you nodded.

"When did you have your last period?", he kept asking further question to create a picture of the whole situation.

"It ended two days ago", you replied.

"The chances are low to get pregnant so shortly after your period", he told you.

"Maybe this reassures you a little. But there's still a risk so observe closely possible changes of your body and make a test in a week", he advised you.

"Thank you", you said nodding and got up.

"All the best", he told you goodbye.

When you left the doctors office Jungkook immediately strided towards you, the worried expression on his face still there.

"What is it? Are you going to be okay?", he asked frantically.

Maybe it wasn't the right time to joke and later on you regretted everything you said to him in that moment but you just couldn't help yourself.

"I'm pregnant", you blurt lightheartedly.

"What?", he asked confused, the look of worry replaced by one of horror.

"Noo, I'm joking", you said laughing and clung on to his arm turning to go, "you should have seen the look on your face."

You looked to the side and the expression wasn't gone yet as he slowly processed what you just said.

"You looked like you were going to run away", you said still laughing but stopped walking since he didn't move an inch. And then it hit you.

"Oh my god...", you said covering your mouth with your hand before you dropped it again in disbelief, "you were going to run!"

He stared at you one more moment.
Then he snapped out of his shock-induced paralysis and quickly walked up to you.

"No. No, of course not. I was just... you caught me off guard", he tried to reassure you but the doubt was sown.

"If I was pregnant for real woul you have left me?", you asked already feeling the tears prick your eyes, "tell me the truth. Now. I need to know."

Because I still might be pregnant and I need to know whether you're going to be by my side or not. Even if it destroys me.

"I wouldn't have run. I swear, it's just really intimidating to become parents at this young age, you know. I wouldn't like to be a father right now", he explained to you grabbing your arm.

He knew you were slowly distancing yourself, fading away, getting out of his reach even though you were still right next to him. But only physically.

"I... I don't know if I can believe you", you said quietly pulling your arm away.

You knew he was speaking the truth and it was only reasonable to say you were too young to be parents. You both were still kids. But his words hurt you.

His words hurt you in a way you couldn't describe. Maybe because you had already imagined your future with him and him saying he wasn't ready made you lose the trust in if he was ever going to be ready.

Or maybe it was just that you felt like a bit of the security you always had broke off.

"You know, maybe we should take it slower... take a break", you suggested barely able to look into his eyes.

"No, babe. Don't do this, please", he pleaded pain and guilt reflected in his eyes.

"I feel like we rushed this again. I need some time by myself to think about what I want and what I need, especially in my future", you said although it was breaking your heart, "and maybe you need some time as well."

He just shook his head and licked his lower lip before he bit on it. You knew he was trying his best not to cry.

"Please, don't do this. Don't go", he said attempting to reach out for your hand but you dodged him.

It seemed a little harsh but this was your sign to pull the brakes. To stop for a short moment and think about what you were engaging yourself in.

He didn't necessarily show you he wasn't ready for commitment. But you could see he was hesitating. It was what you were so afraid of. You needed some clarity.

This clarity you could only find away from him, out of his reach. Away from your exihalarated and drunk with love life.

"I'll be staying at my parent's for now", you told him with a heavy heart, "I'll approach you when I'm ready."

He said nothing, he only nodded. He couldn't object even though he hated seeing you leave.

He knew if he stopped you now it would end badly. He had to let you go so you could make up your mind. Despite him being so sure of everything. Still.

But with you being not around him 24/7 he quickly realised his mistake. He was mistaken. He was confused. Confused with what he felt in the moment when you said you were pregnant.

And he knew he had to tell you as soon as possible. He also knew you told him that you needed some time by yourself but what he had to say to you was more important.

He had to get things right and explain to you what he actually meant now that he was sure of his feelings. Because it'd give your relationship a whole other direction.

He didn't hesitate to jump into his car and drive straight to you after realising this. You hadn't seen each other for three days, he had two beers and it was already past midnight but it couldn't wait.

He was not going to make the same mistake again and let you go without fighting for you, for your relationship and for your future.

He had come up with the perfect sentences to say to you, to make sure to get his point across: how badly he wants to be with you.

He arrived at your house, parked the car and wasted no time to collect himself. He rang the bell hoping you would open up the door. And you did.

"Babe, we need to talk", he said exhaling.