Fuck It List

02: restart

"What are you doing here?", you hissed glaring at him meanwhile your heart beat like you were running up a hill.

James turned around to the source of the voice with a confused look on his face. He lifted his eyebrows surprised when he spotted the tall man standing obliquely behind him.

"I came to pick you up, of course", he said in a blithe tone and gave you a cheeky smile before his eyes left yours to look you up and down, "you look great."

You took a deep breath to keep your cool and not freak out on the spot.

He was here, right in front of you, after one year, after everything that happened.

After you almost got married at 21.

You weren't sure whether you should cry or yell at him. Too much has happened, too much has changed.

But you were also happy to see him. It was good to see his face up close, it felt nice to be in his presence again. A small pang in your heart seemed to disappear just by looking at him.

However, you never expected him to show up, he was the last one you thought would show up. But he was here. How did he even know of your return?

Your parents. Of course, probably your mum told him. Even if it was her who first tried to bring you to your senses, she still treated Jungkook like her son-in-law.

"Y/N, are you uncomfortable? Who is this?", James piped up eyeing you worried.

"No, I'm fine", you quickly said. You wouldn't show how much of an impact him showing up here had on you.

"This is Jungkook, my... best friend", you introduced him hesitantly to James.

A blush crept up your neck when Jungkook gave you an interrogatory look with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, you! I heard a lot about you", James said cheerfully his suspicions mien from before completely vanished and held out his hand to Jungkook, "I'm James, nice to meet you."

You clearly saw how the expression on Jungkook's face turned to stone.
But he still stayed polite and shook James' hand squeezing it just a little harder than he needed to.

"Nice to meet you, too", he said in a neutral voice and nodded, "then let's go or do you want to take a cab?"

"Nah, man. That's fine, thank you for taking the trouble to pick us up", James thanked him with a friendly pat on the back which looked a little ridiculous because of their height difference.

"You're welcome", Jungkook said but only observed you with his obscure eyes, "let me take this for you."

He stepped closer to you and brushed his hand over yours while he reached for the handle of your suitcase. 

Your breath halted for a short instant when you had skin contact. He grazed the silver ring on your finger very slightly, but he definitely did. You could tell by the way his eyes pierced you right afterwards.

Suddenly the ring felt very cold on your ring finger. You pulled your hand away and let him drag your suitcase for you without backtalk.

"So how have you been?", Jungkook asked you as you walked to the parking lot.

"Good", you answered shortly and coldly barely even glancing at him thereupon you earned a puzzled look from James.

But then James started a conversation with Jungkook about something similar they studied and you stayed silent.

You were glad that James was so good at catching all the attention of his counterpart.

Like that you could sort your thoughts in peace although Jungkook made you sit on the passenger seat in the front and took his eyes off the road from time to time to glance at you.

"So where can I drop you off, young man?", Jungkook asked James after you had arrived in the city and looked at him through the rear mirror.

You knew Jungkook would burst with jealousy if James would stay at your place but luckily he'd stay at a friend's house.

"At my friend's place, I'll quickly get the address", he said and searched for his phone in his backpack.

Jungkook quickly found the house after James had told him the address. You said goodbye to him and assured him that you would text him to find a good time to meet up.

Then Jungkook helped him take his luggage out of the trunk before he got in again and started the engine to drive you home.

An awkward silence followed and you just looked out of the window until you heard the noise of the doors getting locked. You turned your head to him and stared at him.

"Did you just lock the car?", you asked horrified.

"Yea, so you don't run from me again without telling me goodbye", he said smiling smugly before he turned right.

"I did tell you", you said irked through gritted teeth, "you just didn't care enough."

"Let's not get started, not right now. It was just a joke", he said sighing unlocking the car doors and bit his lower lip as he took the last turn to the left into your street.

"Why did you come anyway?", you asked looking forward to the moment you could finally get out of this car linked to too many memories.

"Because we have unfinished business", he said parking the car with a jolt in front of your house.

"Do we? I'm pretty sure we're done with each other", you said bitterly making it sound more sorrowful and resentfully than you intended to.

"Done with each other? You're calling almost getting married and then never talking to each other again being done?", he asked chuckling jeeringly.

"Obviously", you said getting annoyed by the way he treated you, "well, at least I don't have anything else to say to you."

It actually was a lie. You had so much you wanted to tell him. But you didn't have the nerve to do so.

You put your hand on the door handle and wanted to push it open when he laid his hand on your thigh to stop you.

"Please, babe", he pleaded with big eyes, "I just want to talk. I can't let go of everything we had just like that. I don't know if you can but I'm not ready and willing to."