Please Don't Help Me

Delilah's POV

I walked into my bedroom. It was dark, almost pitch black. I didn't bother to turn on the light. I shut the door behind me. I would lock it but the guys said I'm not allowed to anymore. I looked up to the ceiling to try and stop myself from breaking down into tears. I can't take this anymore. I'm done with this life. I can't live like this. I'm constantly struggling. Constantly. All I ever think about is cutting or suicide. I want to be okay. But that's obviously out of the picture. I backed up into my door and slowly slid down to the floor. The silence was sickening in a way. I feel so alone even living in a house full of six guys. I listened closely to the muffled voices downstairs. I could hear the pain in all of their voices. I could feel tears coming on but I held them back. I need to stay strong. I have to. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I clenched my fists together tightly. The footsteps went quiet and I expected a knock on my door, but the silence remained. It lasted for around two minutes. And then I heard a thump on the ground right outside my door and someone bust into tears. The sound of Connors sobs caused my tears to begin falling. Faster and faster they fell until I couldn't hold them back at all. I know I caused the pain he's feeling right now. I can't cause him any more pain. I can't do this to these guys. They don't deserve this. I stood up and walked over to my desk. Slowly, I opened up the top drawer where I kept a gun hidden underneath piles of paper. I pulled it out. I fell down to the ground in tears. But then I stood back up and continued to walk towards my mirror. I looked myself up and down. Words came rolling into my brain like a storm. Any possible word you can think of that would bring me down. The voices in my head were screaming at me. Calling me ugly, fat, slutty, a whore, stupid, worthless. I put the gun up to my head and my hand on the trigger. I'm doing the right thing. I'm taking away the pain. My pain, Connors pain, Jc's pain, Trevor's pain, Kian's pain, Ricky's pain, Sam's pain, Sky's pain. I'm taking away all the pain. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My last breath. 1...2...
"DELILAH NO!!!!" Connor came rushing in. He knocked into me right as I pulled the trigger. The bullet hit my closet and the gun went flying underneath my bed. I burst into tears as Connor cradled me in his arms. "Delilah no...please....it's okay. Your okay."
The end.