Please Don't Help Me

Delilahs POV..again.

I set the pill bottle back down. No. I'm not gonna do it. I want to. But I'm not going to. I can't end it now....not yet. I laid my head down on my pillow and my eyes filled up with tears. Why does it hurt so much? Why can't I just be a normal teenager? Why do I have to have drug addicts for parents and an abusive stepdad? I really don't understand. And no one understands how much their words hurt me. If you see scars on my wrists don't call me emo. Don't make fun of me. Don't be a total jerk. Just...be there for me. Just tell me that you care. Just give me a damn hug. The tears that had filled up my eyes came pouring out and I grabbed onto my wrist. A sharp stinging pain ran up my arm as I squeezed it. My hand began turning purple but I really didn't care. Tears were rushing down my face as the pain worsened, but I wasn't crying because of the pain in my wrists, or the pain in my hand or arm, I was crying because I just couldn't take the pain on the inside anymore. I'm done with this bullshit. I'm done with people telling me to go kill myself. I'm done with everything. I let out a scream that was supposed to stay in my head but instead went echoing through the house. I quickly used my hand to cover my mouth and wipe away my tears. I covered my body all the way up to my nose with my blankets and pretended to be asleep. No more than 10 seconds later all the guys came bursting through my door. Shit, I left the pill bottle on the table. Please don't notice...please don't notice. I chanted in my head. Somebody was shaking me but I couldn't tell who and I just put my hands over my ears. The yelling continued but I ignored it. Everything was overwhelming. My body was filled with fear and pain and so many other things without names. I screamed at the top of my lungs and my whole pillow was covered in a mixture of tears and sweat. Trevor sat down next to me and just cooed into my covered ears. "Sh Delilah it's okay. Your okay now. It was just a dream." He told me. The last words wrung in my head. No this isn't a dream...this is real life. This isn't a dream....this is real life. I'm really breaking. I'm almost broken. I AM broken. I sat up and tried to catch my breath but I couldn't. I'm having a total mental and emotional breakdown. I can't do this anymore. I'm losing it. My breathing just got heavier and faster. I wanted to cry out to one of the guys but I didn't know who. Who is gonna be there for me? "Jc!" I screamed. I don't know why I picked Jc. It was just the first thing that came out. He pushed Trevor out of the way and started rubbing my back. I calmed down a bit though my breathing was still faster then normal. I buried my head into his warm body. "Jc.." I cried. He helped me lay back down with him beside me. "Sh just sleep. We can talk in the morning." He said. I didn't answer and just wrapped my arms around him. Well at least I tried to. But he overpowered me and I ended up curled up in a little ball and he was holding on to me. It was a strange position but it was comforting...so I stayed like that.