Please Don't Help Me

Delilahs POV

"Sam can you let me go now? I just wanna be alone." I asked Sam, who would NOT stop hugging me. He sighed. "Okay. But wait!" He said. He grabbed my arm and looked at my wrists. "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12" he counted my cuts out loud. "Sam what are you doing?" I asked. "I'm counting your cuts." He said. "And why are you doing that?" I asked. He smiled at me. "So that I'll know if you do it again." He said. I rolled my eyes. He laughed. (Okay I'm sorry but Sam's laugh is literally the reason I'm alive. Anyways keep reading.) "Okay your done now. Bye Sam." I said, practically pushing him out the door. "So we're good now?" He asked me. I didn't say anything and his smile faded. "Sorry.." He said one last time and then walked out of my room. I slid my back down against my wall and sat. I buried my head into my hands. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I really honestly don't. This life is just to much to handle and the suicidal thoughts in my brain are starting to get harder to clear. I grabbed my razor again. I started to make a cut but then I remembered that Sam would be able to tell if I made any more. Dang it! I unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down to my thighs. I scraped the razor across my leg. I winced in pain. I know Sam said he didn't want me cutting anymore but I just can't help it. Sometimes I just don't even see the reason for trying. I don't know why I'm here. They say that everybody has a purpose in life but I'm here, so that's obviously anything but true. Unless maybe my purpose is to kill myself. No. Not suicide. At least not yet. This war that I'm fighting is hard and I'll be giving up soon, just not yet.
~Flashback~
"Okay bye mom!" I called out to my mom as she got into the car to leave for her night shift. She waved and blew me a kiss. My smile immediately went away as soon as I closed the door. I already know what's about to happen. Any minute now my dad will come home, drunk, like every other night. He'll beat me until his arms are to tired to continue and then he'll pass out on the couch. That's basically how every night of my life goes. I closed my eyes. Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe he won't be drunk. Yeah right. Of course he's gonna be drunk. I'm so stupid. He's right, I'm fat and ugly. I don't deserve to be here. I wiped the tears from underneath my eyes. I don't deserve to be here. I heard the front door unlock and I froze up. No not again. I'm not ready. I can't do this anymore. "Delilah get your a** in here!" He called to me. I walked slowly into the kitchen where he was standing. He smirked at me. "There's my little princess. Oh wait! You can't be a princess! Your just a little piece of sh*t!" He cackled and then slapped the side of my face. I fell to the ground in pain. He kicked and punched me until my whole body was numb. "Please.." I whimpered. "Please..."
~Flashback Over~
I can't do this anymore! This is just to much. My whole body is filled with pain that's never gonna go away. I don't even want to be here. I just want the freaking pain to go away! I cut and cut and cut, my legs were covered in scars. I've never cut this much before. But I can't help it. Somebody please just shoot me. I just can't win. It's obvious that I just can't win in this life. The pain is to powerful and I just can't overcome it. I just can't do this anymore. Maybe I should commit suicide. Maybe I should give up. I'm not strong enough to continue. But I mean what's the point of breathing anyway?