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North's POV:
I have no idea how long I've been here, we've been here, but it feels like weeks, maybe even months. I don't even really know what the hell is going on, it's just dark. Everything is so dark, there's no change, not even when 'she' comes in, it's like 'she' can see in the dark. Every time 'she' comes near me, I get a feeling like my stomach lining is going to tear to pieces, which is how I know it's 'her'. If 'she' touches my skin, I can't stop the gag, it makes her laugh. I hate it.
'She' keeps stroking me, but flinching away, it's as though 'she'... can't bear to touch my skin? So much so 'she's' started wearing gloves, I hate the fact that 'she' can continue to touch me, in anyway. 'She' keeps trying to touch my skin, 'she' is not my Baby, so 'she' doesn't have that right and never will! Not again anyway. Not after Baby cured me from that stupid, strange, something that was controlling me.
I need my Baby to come rescue me, us. It's even worse being in here while I know that Luke's in here... somewhere. They split us up, straight away, so I have no idea what's happening to him. I can't even 'see' what's happening to me, I can only feel it. I really hope that it's only Kayli, but sometimes I don't get the sick feeling, so times it's just a body, a person, holding the blade, or the hot iron. The worst is the needles. I can feel the highs as they introduce drugs into my body. I hate that they feel good. I hate that I'm almost to the point of asking for more.
I need my Baby, but I don't know how awful I'm going to be when I get out of here, if they keep feeding me the drugs, the same ones my Baby worked so hard to help me get off. I know now that Kayli was why I was addicted in the first place, she wanted me to be reliant on them, so that I was reliant on her as I recovered or didn't, as far as I can see that was her plan. That or she was going to assist me in an overdose... yeah, I don't really want to think too hard about that.
Either way it makes me love, yes love (and I mean love), my Baby, even more. Partly for saving me, and I know that could be construed as hero worship, but it's not. Because, I don't know how to explain it, f**k, I don't do long monologues, I can't make my brain order... work... function... that drug... those drugs... somethings messing with me... something bad... everything's like thinking though mud... does that work... can you think though mud... this feels like something Luke would think... Luke... where is he... where's my Baby... is she going to come for me?
She will... won't she... she will... she loves Luke... I think... she does... yes... she loves him... does she love me? I don't know anymore... the drugs... everything's so dark...
Pain.
So much pain.
My head hurts... my arms... my legs... even my fingernails... so dark...
And I don't think it's from something Kayli's done... I think it's from my brothers this time. The thought makes me feel as sick to the tips of my toes... past them. It's still pitch black... absolutely silent.
Is it the middle of the night? ...I've never been afraid of the dark... now I need light... I need it like I need air... like I need Baby...
I've never understood Luke's or Sang's panic attacks... not fully... I think I do now... because I can hardly breath... I can't get any air in my lungs... not at the moment. The air is so tight... thick... stifling...
"S**t, f**k, s****y s**t f**k, you look like absolute f*****g s**t!" there is only one person... one person who swears that much. His name... his name... stupid drugs... stupid girl... team... f**k...
YOU ARE READING
Sang's reserve (COMPLETE)
FanfictionThe Lee's are moving, again! It's fractured the close relationship between Kota and Jess. Which is damaged even more when Kota starts to date Kayli Winchester along with most of his newly formed Blackborne-Toma team. Needing escape from her annoyan...