Wangxian - The Road Not Taken

Death

People say that I'm evil, probably even the worst thing that they had the misfortune of meeting.

People say that I'm always planning something , beware and stay away.

They say being with me corrupts others.

They say I'm arrogant, vain , evil , ungrateful, hateful, monster, and did I mention evil.

Such words can be ignored if tried but if heard again and again for years it only strengthens your belief that you are all those things. Mostly if you already don't view yourself in the best light.

After watching the death of my guardians, my sister's husband, my second family, the Wen remnants, Wen Qing , Wen Ning, little A-Yuan , my beloved sister, all caused by me, how can I not be evil.

I am a walking disaster and anyone close to me has to bear it along with me.

Feeling that it will be better that I end this with me I decided to end my life, even then my love, Lan Zhan refused to let go of my hand and let me fall to my death even when he was this heavily injured, blood soaking his clothes and pouring over me.
Oh how can I bear to cause my love this much pain.

When Jiang Cheng stabbed the rock with all his pain ,anger and hatred causing the rock to crack and dangerously close to collapsing, I made the final push and jerked free my hand with the last of my remaining strength.

I hoped that my death would atleast lower the number of problems that I have caused for them, for him.

But would he let me just die and leave for a peaceful life no matter what I said?

In that injured state he took me back to Burial mounds and tried to nurse me to health, but I wasn't able to handle the reality, the pain the sufferings that I caused. I am really a curse for everyone around me.
How can I let him be near me anymore.

"Get Lost", the only words that I could utter.
Lan Zhan please leave me and go. I can't bear to see you face any worse fate than this.

"Wei Ying, we are safe now"
"Get Lost"
Why don't you understand, you are not safe as long as you are with me

"Don't worry, you'll be fine"
"Get Lost"
I don't care if I'll be fine, all those people that I killed, are they fine? Will they ever be fine?Me! its me that has caused this destruction.

Saying that he kept passing on his spiritual energy to me, even though he was also barely hanging there. How can I tell him there is no use. No use in passing me any spiritual energy at all.
"Get Lost!"
Please save it for yourself Lan Zhan

"Wei Ying, please be okay, I love you"
"Get Lost"
Noooo it can't be ! Lan Zhan don't love me, how can you love this walking disaster. You should be running away from me, protecting yourself, not foolishly giving away your heart to me!.

Thankfully Zewu-jun and Master Lan came to take him away. Away to safety. Away to heal.

I need to end the root of the problem, so I decided to destroy the most desired object in the cultivation world , Stygian Tiger Seal, the object that caused destruction, some look at it with disgust, some with greed.

How can I let people take it! It would just cause more destruction. This is my repentance for the devastation that I caused. It would not ever be enough for everything, but maybe, just maybe once it's no longer there, once I am no longer there everything can start getting better.

And so I focused all my remaining strength to it, causing it to break apart with a loud explosion. Taking away my life, soul with it. Not even leaving my body behind.

In my last moments I could hear them.
A-xian, come I have made lotus rib soup for you

Wei wuxian, always causing trouble

Wei wuxian, A-Li is waiting for you for our child's first month anniversary celebration

Extremely boring

Take care of A-Cheng and A-Li

Choose a name

Why, why did you have to become an hero and save him, mother was right, you always cause trouble

I want my mother and father back

If I plant and water, will I get more friends?

If you insist on doing this I won't be able to protect you anymore

Thank you and Sorry

3 is too old , xianxian is 1 year old

Wei wuxian, go to hell

Wei Ying, I love you

I wish things could have been better

I wish I had better control

I wish I could have done more

I wish we could live peacefully

I wish I was not a curse

I wish...