How to take down an empire with voices in your head

3. Talking or Trusting

They both sat in silence, both thinking on what had just been said, both not knowing what to do- or even say now; in the end, something would have to be said.

So Philza said something, "Well, Ranboo, How long have you been doing these 'experiments' of yours?" Ranboo looked down from the ground, he'd almost forgotten Philza was there due to the complete silence. Yet Philza's presence is why he kept silent, waiting for Philza to say something, anything; just so he wouldn't have to.

"Two months Philza" the half-ender man spoke, with a slight tremble in his voice. He spoke at a level where only Philza could hear, not that there was anyone else around that could've heard.

"Oh"

"Yeah... Is that bad Phil?" Ranboo pleaded, needing Phil's judgment, yet scared of what he'll say.

"I mean" Phil let a sigh before continuing, setting his hat in his lap, "It's bad yes, that you've been doing experiments on yourself. It's bad because although you are- and I mean this Ranboo, very smart, that doesn't mean you know exactly what you're doing and what's going on when you do these experiments; and I think you know that as well" Phil's words made Ranboo sit in silence, Phil was right. Ranboo may know a lot, but he didn't know enough to be able to do these experiments with complete certainty. Yet he did them, anyway, knowing the risk.

"Yes, it's bad that you've been doing them for two months without even telling anyone, why didn't you? Why didn't you tell me Ranboo? What if something went so terribly wrong and you didn't know how to fix it? Who would've helped you to at least try to fix it? See it's bad, for many other reasons as well; reasons I don't think I have to explain" Philza's words stuck to Ranboo him like a parasite, burning in his head. Why hadn't he told anyone? Surely, he had a reason, right? If Ranboo did, then he forgot.

"Ranboo, can you tell me what you do exactly, in these experiments?" Philza spoke in a concerning manner. Seeing as now Ranboo was starting to fidget furiously with the buttons on his shirt.
He looked so obviously paranoid, so obviously confused by his own thoughts, but why? Well, that's something Philza also wanted to know. Ranboo sat on the other side of Philza, only a foot's distance away, hunched over, elbows tucked into his laps, hands fiddling with buttons.

Ranboo stopped moving his hands at Philza's question and turned his head to the right; now facing away from Philza- now facing the front door.

He was about to tell Philza everything, about the voices, about why he's doing these experiments, and how he's doing them, about the particles- in which also were part of the "voices in his head" issue, about Dream, about everything, but a loud static- and screechy noise started playing in his head.

It was ender men noises. One's he's heard so many times before, but not exactly like this.

Slowly words started to appear in Ranboo's vision one letter after the other, looking as if they were glitching in and out.

"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone"

Ranboo freezes, he couldn't tell Phil, what was he thinking? He tenses up, staring down the doorknob he wishes to take hold of, opening the door to let himself free.

"Ranboo?" Phil questioned him in response to Ranboo's actions. Ranboo only shut his eyes harshly, like a kid when they wanted to pretend something wasn't there, but most of the time they feared what they didn't want to see. Was Ranboo scared of Phil? Or was he just scared of trusting him? Surely it was neither- nor if so, he hopes it's the second.

Ranboo hums to let Phil know he's hearing him, so Phil continues with the questions, "Does Tubbo know about the experiments?"

Ranboo only shakes his head no, still tense. "Oh, but he knows about all the ender walking right?" Ranboo nods. "Ok. Would you rather tell Tubbo about all these things than me? Just know you won't be offending me if you do, it's your choice". Ranboo shrugs, only for a moment, before returning to his tense form.

Ranboo feels a hand on his shoulder, flinching at the sudden movement. He hears Phil whisper words to calm him down, and Ranboo relaxes his shoulders. Phil was always good at calming everyone down, no matter the circumstance. Just others were harder and took longer than others.

Ranboo's thoughts lead him to the memories of when he first moved in next door, he was very much so, scared of Techno. Phil helped him with that, showed him all the good sides of Techno, also helping Techno open up more and prove himself as a friend to Ranboo. Ranboo remained a quiet fellow. never really talking unless spoken to when he was around them, and they both took notice. showing him that his opinions and thoughts mattered, around this time he also started becoming better friends with Tubbo, who as well helped him open up.

"I mean, Philza if I'm being honest. I trust you and all that yeah, and I trust Tubbo too, it's just I don't think I can tell you" Ranboo mumbled.

"Why not?"

"I just can't Phil"

"You can't even tell Tubbo?"

"Not even Tubbo"

"Is there perhaps, somebody who's stopping you from telling us- or maybe something?" Phil asked placing his hand from Ranboo's shoulder to his own lap, placing his other hand top.

"Not that I can tell you of no, I don't think I can". Ranboo said turning to face in front of him, instead of to the door. No longer feeling the need to run out the door, no longer feeling trapped in his thoughts.

"Alright," Phil shrugged. "Alright?" Ranboo spoke with a tang of confusion in his voice. "Well, if you don't want to tell me, and you keep on dealing with whatever this is by yourself, then I won't force you to," Phil told the confused young man that sat in his house.

"Mm-hmm" Ranboo shrugged his shoulders "Well, thanks for uh-thanks for talking with me, as always," Ranboo said standing up from his seat, wiping his hands on his pants.

"Ranboo," Phil said sanding up beside him. Ranboo turned now facing him. "Be safe "Phil sighed, turning away grabbing his hat and the book he placed on the table earlier.

"I will"... "I will," Ranboo repeated assuring Phil due to the look he gave him after he first said it.

Phil nodded, putting his hat on. Ranboo turned and headed out the door.