Face To Face With The Devil

Chapter 24

"Good morning Faith." I rubbed my eyes trying to wake up more, I was shocked that my dad was talking to me "Hey dad," "Faith I need to talk to you."

My heart dropped and I slowly sat down on the kitchen stools and looked down at my hands not meeting his gaze.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry," "dad you don't have to apologize for anything." He took a step forward and rested his hands on the counter.

"Yes I do, I have been anything but a father to you, I have let you struggle and I've done nothing, I have let myself feel so much self pity I forgot that I have to be a dad to a daughter who is going through the same and much more than I am."

His voice cracked ad I saw tears brim his eyes "dad please don't," "Faith you are my daughter and I'm supposed to be your dad."

He closed his eyes and let a tear fall down his cheek, I looked up at my father as he was trying to keep himself together, how could I do this to him, how could I let myself ruin my own dad just as I have ruined myself.

"Faith you're my baby girl."

I took a deep breath and interrupted what he was going to say next, "dad please don't."

I gulped down air and felt my hands start to shake "Faith you listen to me," his voice held something that made a shiver of pain run through my body.

"I know we have been nothing but a family this past year and I just wanted to say not once during that time did I ever question being you're father, Faith I love you so much."

My breath was knocked out of me, this was the first time in two years I have heard those words muttered to me by my family, I was so deprived of love from the world hearing those words made me feel so weak and undeserving of the love from my dad.

"Thanks, dad." He nodded at my words and pulled me into a hug, his warm arms enveloped me and for the first time I felt myself relax into the hug, I hugged him back like my life depended on it because right now it did, I was finally seeing the light again.

I stayed in my dad's arm for what felt like an eternity, but I relished in his arms, in the moment feeling the fatherly love I've never had.

I didn't say those words back to him, I didn't say I love you back to my dad, but before I could speak he pulled back "Faith I love you so much baby."

I smiled and we parted, leaving the moment behind.

I will regret not saying those words back to him, I know I have many other moments with my dad but I lost the one moment where I could have fixed all the wrong I've caused,

I let it slip through my fingers and I will live with that for what I hope will be my whole life.

I just hope it didn't cause him more pain for my dad to not hear those words leave my mouth, but I guess that's whats I do,

I leave people in pain.

I left for school shortly after wiping away the thoughts of this morning getting into my car watching the trees blur by as I passed them, I pulled into the school parking lot seeing the other students meet up with their friends and walk away into the doors,

a knock on my window pulled me up and I turned over with a jump, Alex and Vi were standing outside of my car leaning against Seb's black jeep.

"Hello." Alex yawned drawing out the syllables, "hey guys." We walked up to the front of the building and sat down on the picnic table with Alex and Vi sitting across from me "so the annual senior trip is in a few weeks."

I looked up from the table "what's that?" I questioned feeling not too curious about it, "all the seniors go on an overnight camping trip for two nights in some cabins in the woods."