Difference Between

Chapter 15 - The Queen Victoria Effect

When I open the door, Mom calls me from the kitchen. She sits up a little straighter at the table as I approach and motions for me to sit with her.

"How was it with your dad?" she asks as I take a seat next to her.

"It was fine," I say. "It was fun."

Mom nods, clasping her hands on the table. "That's great." There's a slight pause, and I immediately want to make an excuse to go to my room. But I grit my teeth and grip the edge of my chair, forcing myself to stay. Mom clears her throat as her eyes flicker from me to her hands and back. "So how have you been feeling lately?"

I shrug. "Okay, I guess." Mom waits for more. "My grades are fine. You know that."

"And how are things with you and August?"

Complicated. "Fine. I'm glad he got a good grade, and I'll keep tutoring him if he wants me to."

"And friendship wise?"

I can't tell if she's implying anything by that. Hopefully not. I've had enough of that today. And forever. But I don't want to lie to her either since I didn't lie to Dad about it. "Things aren't the best, but they're okay."

She nods. "And with Marcus?"

Here we go... I swallow. "Also not the best."

"Even though you were kind of getting along yesterday?"

I shake my head. "That didn't last."

Mom's eyebrows furrow. "What happened?"

"What always happens."

Mom's expression doesn't change. I bite back a sigh. Do I really have to elaborate? How can she not know? It feels like everyone in the "family" knows how Marcus and I interact. Besides, she's the one that's been telling me over and over again that I have to be careful about what I say around Marcus since every little mention of history pisses him off.

I feel the heat of anger rise, and I have to bite my tongue. If I elaborate now, it's gonna turn into an argument. But how can she just sit there and act like she doesn't know? Or make me say it? Just so I can admit that she's right?

"And what always happens?" Mom prompts.

I grit my teeth. "An argument. You know that."

"Who started it yesterday?" Mom catches her wording a second after I do. Her jaw tenses and she shuts her eyes. "I mean how did it start yesterday?" she amends.

But it's too late. We both heard it the first time. She was looking for someone to blame. Someone to side with. And I can only hope that she wanted to side with me. Even if Dad's right and Mom loves me - which I know she does - it doesn't change the fact that there's a distinct possibility that she won't side with me. And I don't want to know for sure if it's gonna happen. Again.

I don't look at her as I explain, "Marcus heard you compare us to Grant and Longstreet. I admitted that I was the one that came up with it, and he got mad. So we argued."

Mom nods slowly. "What did Marcus say to you?"

I shrug, sitting back and crossing my arms over my chest as I glare down at the table. "That he thinks I make the references because I don't actually want to put in the effort to get to know him or anyone as a person. It's just an excuse to see the world however I want to see it."

"Is that true?"

I dig my nails into my arm. "No. I don't think it is. I just think that's how Marcus sees it."

Mom leans towards me. "And did you try to explain that to him?"

I reach up to play with my necklace, tucking one foot beneath me. "Kind of. I told him that it's hard to get to know people when they shut you down like Marcus does to me."