Philinda Stuff

Do you love me too?

  May turned over in her bed laying on her side.
  It was currently five thirty in the morning and she was supposed to be getting ready for Ti-Chi but today she felt a little less motivated.

  She normally always had good and bad days but today was just different. She didn't want to move, her hands were draped lazily in front of her and her tear stained pillow supported her head just enough for her to be able to watch her clock on the nightstand. Her room was dark except for a little light coming from the bathroom.

May normally liked being alone but today, being alone felt both right and wrong. She needed someone, but she new that she couldn't have him.

  There was a slight knock on her door pulling her out of her lingering thoughts, but she didn't answer. she didn't have the energy. Then a moment later there was another knock, then another, Until May finally found the power in her to reply with a small "hm?"

  "May?" Daisy called. "You in there?" May took a deep breath and rolled over on her back.

  "Yeah." She called softly.

  "You alright? Training started ten minutes ago..." May sighed, she had forgotten.

  "Skip today." She replied in the same weak voice. There was silence for a moment.

  "...are you ok in there? Do I need to get someone?"

  "No." May answered simply. She just started up at the sealing.

  What was this that she was feeling?

  She couldn't tell.

  She wasn't mad or sad or disappointed, she didn't feel anything. She was just...

  Numb.

  "May?" Daisy knocked again. "C-Can I come in?" When May didnt answer Daisy took that as a yes and opened the door. She couldn't see much with the darkness of the room but she made her way around some furniture and to the side of Mays bed.

  The sight of May made Daisy flinch. For a moment she thought she was dead.

  May was just staring up at the sealing. Hands laid loosely on top of her torso and covers that came up to the bottom of her chest.

  "May?"

  "Hm?"

  "Are you ok?" Mays head turned towards Daisy. Her bloodshot eyes looking into Daisys concerned ones. She shook her head softly. Mays eyelids slowly closed, she then soon felt a soft touch on her arm. "I'm gonna go get Coulson alright..." May didn't respond, she didn't want to bother him with her stupid problems.

  But she was selfish, she wanted him and wanted his words of comfort. May couldn't help but want him. She heard quick footsteps leave her room and the door shut. May let a single tear fall, down her cheek and onto her soft pillow. Then another, then another, then she was sobbing. She was sobbing with her eyes closed and her mouth shut.

  She laid there alone silently crying. Her head fell to the side and she fisted her best sheets with her right hand. The only thing that was heard in the scilence of the room was Mays soft gasps when she needed to catch her breath.

  She wanted her unknown pain to end. She couldn't tell why she was feeling this way.

  Bahrain
  Andrew
  Lincoln
  Daisy
  Coulson
  Her own selfishness
  Her aloneness

The overwhelming feeling that she doesn't deserve to be here...

More tears traveled down her cheeks at the thought that haunted her every day. All she wanted to do was be happy, but something held her back, something she couldn't quite put a finger on.