Damaged Hearts

34-Letter To My Future Self

Olivia

Currently I am sitting in Mr Shields class as he goes over the assignment for the week. 

"We are doing something a bit different this week. As you all know finals are next week, so instead of bombarding you with a bunch of work this week I want you to focus on the year long project we have been working on. As well as something I am introducing today."

He turns around and writes out, 'Dear future self' onto the board before turning back to the class. 

"The year long project focuses on time. I am continuing this theme into this week's mini project. I want you all the write a letter to your future self, more specifically yourself twenty years from now."

"Twenty? But that means I'll be old and ew thirty seven." Naomi grimaces. 

"I am sure once you are thirty seven you won't think of it as such an old age Naomi." Mr. Shields says before returning to the explanation of the project. 

"This letter has to be at least a thousand words. I want you to not only to write about what is going on in your life right now but where you see yourself in twenty years. Will you be settled down with children? Maybe you'll be exploring the world. I just want you to write about how you see your future."

Mr. Shields passes out the rubric along with some starter questions to get the letter going. 

"Now it is Tuesday and I want this letter turned in by Monday at the lasted, if it is turned in Friday you will receive ten bonus points."

The rest of the lesson goes by and at lunch I sit with Alex. 

"What are you doing?" He asks as I start the letter. 

Mr. Shields said we could either write or type it and honestly I prefer writing. 

"It's for my English class."

I write at the top, 'Letter To My Future Self'

"He hums before stealing a carrot from my plate. 

Once the other guys arrive I put it away.

Bens super quiet at lunch but I get why. I even see Willa give me a wave from where she is sitting beside Cora. 

****

When I get home later that day I sit at Cora's desk and begin writing my letter. 

She's currently out with Landon and Alex is with the guys at the park. 

Leaving me to write in peace and quiet. 

'Dear future self, I start the letter.

I am supposed to be writing this letter to my thirty seven year old self, I can't even imagine hitting thirty. I guess I should start out by telling you what's going on in my life currently, I wonder how much has changed between now and twenty years from now.' 

I go on to talk about everything currently happening in my life. 

It takes me a while because my hand begins to cramp and I get hungry. 

Once I eat some lucky charms I am back at the desk writing the letter. 

'Now this is how I see my future. Honestly future me, you will probably laugh at me especially if it doesn't turn out the way I envision it. Not that I see a clear future but what I think it'll look like. I see myself working a steady job somewhere, don't ask me where I don't even know what I want to do with my life. Anyways I see my self married to Alex of course but things change. We'll have two kids a boy and a girl obviously. We don't live one of those suburb lines with the two story houses that match the neighbors.-

I go on and go in depth of how I really see my future. 

Once I finish the letter I put it in my backpack before hopping into the shower. 

I change into a pair of leggings and a t shirt. 

When everyone else gets home we have dinner. 

Organic fried chicken. 

After that I end up in Alex's room where we lay in his bed and listen to music.

'Night Running.' By Cage The Elephant blasts through the speakers of the earbuds. 

"Where do you see yourself in twenty years?" I ask Alex. He turns his head to look at me. 

"What do you mean?"

I shrug, "Like what life do you see yourself having in twenty years."

"I have no clue. There is only one thing I know that I 'll have in twenty years."

"What?" I ask sitting up on my elbows, looking down at him. 

He traces my collar bone, "Your annoying ass."

"Ha ha." I roll my eyes but on the inside I am a complete and utter mess. 

"Where did that question come from anyway?"

"Remember that letter I told you about at lunch?" I ask and he nods. 

"Well it was because of that. And if you must know I wrote that I saw you in my future as well."

He face lights up, "Really?"

The look on his face makes me think I just told him he just one a million bucks. 

Before I can even process anything Alex cups my face, descending his lips onto mine. 

He kisses like it's the last time, and I feel him swipe his tongue into my mouth. 

"I fucking love you." he mumbles against my lips. 

I pull away only slightly to look at him, his hands still on the sides of my face. 

Did he just?

"You what?" I ask as my heart races against my breast bone. 

"I love you Olivia Hayes."

The smile I was fighting unleashes it self across my face. 

I probably look like the craziest person in the world as I look him straight in the eyes.

"I love you Alexander Stevens." I say and his lips crash down onto mine.

All our feelings are placed into the kiss. Not a word left unspoken through this kiss. 

Even though I want to take things farther right now we cant. 

His parents and Cora are in the house. 

Honestly I would take kisses like this over anything else any day. 

"Say it again." He whispers before kissing the corner of my mouth. 

"I love you." I say and he nips at my earlobe, "Again."

"I love you." A kiss to my jaw line. 

"Again." 

"I- Alex." I shriek as he bites my shoulder lightly. 

He comes up to peck my nose and all I can do is take in the beauty of the man in front of me. 

His smile is something I wish to tattoo into my brain permanently.

Grabbing my phone I shuffle to songs on my playlist and we lay back down on the bed.

My phone rings during the middle of one of my favorite songs. 

Looking at the caller ID I quickly disconnect the headphones before answering the call. 

"Mom?"