EVEN THOUGH THE FORMER lovers were no longer together, they knew every little thing about one another. daniel still got in the habit of having a hand on her thigh while he drove, it becoming an addictive thought to reach over as soon as she got into the car.
kailee noticed the itch for his touch, and vice versa. she recognized the signs of when he was hesitant in being around her, closed up when holding something in.
she hadn't known the signs in their relationship until it was far too late to save them from the tragedy that fell on them a year ago, yet here they were, about to have a sleepover.
"you know you can touch me, right? i don't have cooties." she pointed out, her leg slightly bouncing as she spoke, daniel instantly resting his hand on her thigh, stopping the bouncing altogether.
"sorry, i didn't want to push my limits." he apologized, since that was something he owed her a lifetime of.
"it's okay. i know when you're nervous about something that you want to do. it's a look you get on your face."
"yet you're the only person who's ever been able to notice it." he pointed out, rather unknowingly bothering her.
kailee hadn't liked it when daniel pointed out how much she did compared to anyone else in his life. surely his family adored him dearly, given that she meet them so many years ago, even staying with them several nights whenever she was able to stay in la for a few nights.
it was a quiet drive nonetheless, him cautious to not overstep any boundaries, as the love he had for the girl kept him aware of all the mistakes he made before.
helping her with her one small duffle bag, carrying it in for her, he unlocked the door, stepping in before moving out of kailee's way.
"i forgot how nice this place was." she noted aloud, forgetting all about boundaries and remembering all of the memories she's held close to her heart in this home.
"do you want to start picking a movie on my tv upstairs while i grab snacks?"
"what about the song?"
"i'll play it once i get up there, i promise." she winced at daniel's wording, remembering how unfortunately he promised her his love in this very spot five years ago.
how could someone tell their significant other that they love them, then spend six whole years together, living out a lie for that many years?
nodding, kailee took her bag away from daniel, heading towards the stairs and bounding up them, like it was a routine at this point in time.
"HOW'S THE MUSIC COMING babe?" kailee asked, gesturing towards his notebook, while he had his head in his hands.
"i'm just worn out. i've been working on this song all day and it's missing something. i can't fucking think of it."
"hey," she bent down to be below his eye level, shifting his gaze toward her as she tilted his chin. "i love you, and you don't have to finish the song in one day. you'll know the lyric eventually, okay? your music should be your passion, not your heartache."
"i love you, kails. i really do and you're such an amazing girlfriend." he paused, glancing down at her promise ring he had given her a couple months ago. "sometimes i wish you could stay in la forever, you know? i hate it when you leave."
"it's not fair to my dads, dan. you know that. but i promise you, when i'm older, i'll come find a place here. i'll work my ass off to get through school and then maybe if you ever wanted to move in together, then we can."
"yeah, i'd really like that." he smiled softly, meeting her eyes. "but what i would like more right now is some love."
"you're lucky i'm full of it- just for you."
IT LOOKED SIMILAR TO how it did a year ago, as clean as always and his room smelling like him- just as how she remembered.
setting down her duffle bag, she went to sit on the bed, careful not to mess up anything to severely, knowing daniel's habits.
laying down on her back, the comfort of the mattress made her feel like daniel was with her, kailee being cuddled into his arms as he promised her the world.
"we used to lay like this whenever you'd come over for a short visit." daniel brought up as he entered to room, hands full with an assortment of snacks and drinks for them to share. "i used to hold you in my arms as you helped me relax from the stress and you would reassure me that i would forever be cared by you. i used to lay there, and tell you how much i loved you. i gave everything up for a stupid career because that's all i could think about."
"it's okay to have priorities in your life, dan. i told you from the start that i knew your career came first. i always knew that."
"is that why you didn't fight me when i got asked to join the band and move to la? was that you willing to give me up to be by your side every day to helping me get the career i always wanted?"
"i always supported you, daniel. i never wanted you to leave then, nor did i want you to leave me a year ago."
even though the conversation topic was heavy, it was reassuring to both of them that they were okay to talk about it, possibly talk it through.
"i missed you, kailee. i hated losing you."
"i missed you too, but you know i can't trust you with my heart again. you told me you didn't love me."
grabbing a guitar off the wall, selecting the perfect one to play the song he wrote for her. "i wrote this for you, because i do love you, kails. i never stopped nor do i think i ever will."
"play it for me then."
"told you that i didn't love you, didn't wanna but i had to. i know that you don't wanna see me- but what if i got down on my knees? if not i don't mind if i die, 'cause i'll never find another you. oh my darling, can we pretend that we're good? just for the night 'til the morning. i'd take it back if i could. if you wanna, baby, take it out on my body. can we pretend that we're good? just for the night 'til the morning. i'd take it back if i could. 'cause i'll never find another you. please don't make me have to say please— i know that you're just as lonely. i'll tell you something that i don't mean, baby, please don't ever leave me-" before he could finish, kailee reached over, stopping his strumming, making him lose every thought of what the next lyric could be.
tears were welling up in her eyes, him hardly able to meet hers as she attempted to blink them away, which only made a couple roll down her soft skin.
"baby," he mumbled, setting the guitar down next to him on the bed, carefully wiping away the stray tears. "please don't cry."
"i hated how you made me feel, dan. you broke my heart and i didn't think i could ever love you, nor trust you again." she began, him still holding her face, comforting her as he knew that anything could go wrong in these next moments. "but i still love you. i never could stop and i don't think that the heartbreak ever could overshadow my passion to loving you."
"give me one night. that's all i want." he whispered gently, keeping his words as a peace offering, still wiping away her stray tears.
"what if this doesn't work, dan? i don't know what i'll do if i leave tomorrow morning and i can't let you back in. i won't let you back in because i know it'll hurt too much to stay."
"i regret lying to you about how much i didn't love you anymore, kails. a year ago, i was a stupid fuck up who couldn't decide whether it was worth jeopardizing my career to come see you continuously or risk losing the focus in my music, but i came to realize that without thinking of you, having you around- it made me lose focus. i lost the most important person in my life and i can't lose you again. i will fight anything and everyone if it means you will love and trust me again. will you at least give me this one night? one night for us to be boyfriend and girlfriend, even if it's for the last time?"
"yes. i will give you one night."
YOU ARE READING
i tried, seavey
Fanfiction.˚ ₍🔨₎┊. .⃗ . i tried ⌇‧₊ 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 made a promise i could never keep. 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀.. completed
