You wanted in my head, to know the moment I had no regard for rules or self-restraint. It seemed obvious to me but you didn't want a simple answer.
You wanted a declaration.
You wanted me to confess all my sins to you, to tell you how jealousy raged within me and how I loathed anyone for even thinking about touching you.
I didn't give you that then, so I'll give it to you now.
I was in agony Serenity Taylor.
To say I was reaching my limit was an understatement. I was inviting you into spaces no woman had ever been in before, all except one. You graced my library, trailing your small fingers along the binds of the books in awe. I laughed to myself watching you cautiously flip through the pages of your favorite book. It was an old copy and you were careful not to tear any pages, most likely afraid that I'd yell at you for it. I let you borrow it as an olive branch for being an ass, for giving you so many mixed signals. That was the last thing I wanted Serenity, to confuse you. Believe it or not, I did care about your feelings.
You liked Alex and I didn't blame you. He was a good man, kind, efficient, and most of all he seemed to really like you too. I'd like to say I had a good reason for interfering but I would've been lying. I did it out of spite, out of jealousy. I wanted to have you before he even got the chance. This is my apology but the blame couldn't solely be placed on me. You asked Serenity, I simply gave you what you wanted, what we both wanted.
You wanted to know the moment I decided to say fuck it?
It was the same moment you left your date, hoping that I'd follow you.
When I saw you walk into my restaurant I didn't know what to think. My first thought was how incredible you looked in your dress, the way it hugged you perfectly. Red was definitely a color that suited you well, though you looked amazing in any shade. Your hair was curly but not from heat, it was in its natural state. I'd always liked when your hair was like that. You never wore too much makeup, though when you did you looked just as alluring. That night your skin was dewy, cheeks a faint pink. Your lips were a shade of nude, a gloss on top to make them pop. I wanted to ruin that lipstick. To tear that dress off of you and send you back to Alex like nothing ever happened.
You were my ruin Serenity, the woman that made me lose all rationale. It was why I followed you up to my office and asked you that one simple question. The question I had asked in the Poconos, the one that you couldn't answer. As much as I wanted to I couldn't act impulsively. Though the signs were there I wanted to hear it from you, wanted to hear how badly you wanted me for myself. I didn't plan on touching you until you gave me that.
When you did I didn't know what came over me.
It was hard to exercise control with you, especially since you were just as eager as I was. I wanted to press you up against the glass and have you tell me exactly what you wanted me to do to you. I wanted the city below to watch as I claimed you, to watch as your fingerprints stained the window. To watch as the heat from your desperate moans fogged the glass because once I had you Serenity, no one else ever would.
I know what you're thinking and you'd be right, but just hear me out.
Don't you remember what happened next Serenity?
Or am I the only one that can accept my part in this?
♥
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